


The Making of a Hunter

by LittlemschatterboxXl



Series: Supernatural [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Angst, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Demons, F/M, Fluff, Human AU, M/M, SPN - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:34:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29608818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittlemschatterboxXl/pseuds/LittlemschatterboxXl
Summary: Castiel fell in love with a country loving boy, Dean Winchester while they were in College. A loving relationship blossomed between the two and they have been together ever since. However, Dean had been struggling with drug and alcohol abuse after the death of his younger brother who died under strange circumstances. It took Dean a long painful time to recover, half of his and Castiel's relationship actually. Now, he was five years sober and wasn't planning on breaking it any time soon.Castiel wanted to celebrate their anniversary somewhere far away, because Dean refused to drive his '67 Impala outside of the neighborhood. He didn't want anything to happen to his little baby. Eventually he agreed to drive it further out, but that was the worst mistake he could've made. There was... an accident.The accident was strange, and Castiel couldn't help but blame himself for it. He knew what he saw when it happened but knew no one would believe him. So, he set out to find his own truth. The truth... it sometimes scarier than fiction. What'll happen when Castiel finds out that the comfy world he was living in- turns out to not be as safe as he thought?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel
Series: Supernatural [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2175339
Kudos: 4
Collections: Supernatural





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! The characters in this story I do not own. I started posting this on Wattpad, but with everything going on over there I decided to tell it over here. It's my first fanfic on here and I would love some suggestions to help improve my writing. I just barely started watching supernatural, I'm only on season 5 so I don't know all the characters and lore yet. So if I accidentally mess something up, please be kind and understanding.

For eons, mothers and fathers warned their children about the dark and cruel natures of the world. The boogey man, vampires, wolves, witches, and anything in between. Parents would tell their children lies to make sure that they were safe no matter what, even if it would hurt them in the end. A bond between a mother and her child is not something to take lightly. The bond they form is a unbreakable promise that they would do anything, believe anything, and do anything to keep one another safe. Even when fate will break the bond in time, the promise will always remain. The lies once told become truth. The truth unspoken will come to light.

Castiel never believe in fate or any religious affiliations. The only thing he believed was the power of free will. He was a man who knew what was in front of him, and if he liked what was in front of him- he would make sure nothing would take it away from him. Of course, his mother would tell him the same stories of the tooth fairy and Santa Clauses. That there was nothing in the darkness that could hurt them, that his eyes would believe what they saw and what he believed was true- would become his truth. He never quite believed her when she would speak of the typical myths that a child would believe in. Castiel knew that pop-rocks and soda wouldn't make holes in his stomach. Castiel knew that stepping on a crack wouldn't break his mother's back. There was one thing though that she would say to him that would always make him pause and look at the world in a different way that he never thought of before. She would tell him-

"God finds a way, in his own way. He'll make everyone see him."

He never knew how to respond to that. There wasn't any proof in a god besides the basic random chances in the world. The sun being far enough that life could exist on a planet is a fair example of this choice of evidence, but it never bothered him. Castiel simply knew that people would believe what they wanted and he couldn't change that. He always found it interesting when other's would explain their world views to him, he would question how different events in someone's life could make them have faith in something that without logic- seemed rather impossible to understand. Castiel of course would never be arrogant about his views or beliefs, simply stay quiet, listen, and ask questions or comments whenever he believed they would be seen as acceptable. With all this in his mind, he never believed he would end up with someone who's ideas opposed his own.

Castiel has always been a good student. Straight A student who kept his nose out of trouble and had many friends along the way. He would always befriend all of the teachers that he had, become best friends with who ever the teacher gave special attention to, and was just known for being a well liked man. When he was sent off to the college of his choice, he expected to find a cute dark haired girl with a passion for the city life and always wanted to have fun and to party. A woman who didn't care about god or drinking, but just taking what was ahead of her and making the most of it. Castiel assumed it would probably happen at some point during his four years of school, he didn't mind the wait.

That wasn't what he got.

Instead, he ended up being with a man one semester into his freshman year. He had dirty blonde hair that had a party in the back but business in the front. The student had a nicely defined jaw and eyes that shined like pearly green emeralds. The boy was very much a country man, having come from Kansas and wearing dirty boots, torn up jeans, and a nice flannel shirt to accompany a necklace that he never would take off.

They met in a religious studies course. It was a required class that Castiel needed for his degree, but he didn't mind taking it due to the fact that it would be an easy A for how little the course work had seemed to be. It was days like this that made Castiel think about what his mother said so many times. God finds a way, his own way. Fate would have it that the two would sit next to each other for the whole class. Castiel found himself more interested in the student then the actual course. He would watch as the student asked questions, brows furrowing at the course material, and being offended at some of the ways the professor would talk about a concept that the student apparently believed different in. At the end of every class, this student would turn to Castiel and complain about how arrogant their professor was.

Castiel knew he was catching feelings for this man, but he was rather nervous about the thought of actually asking him out and becoming friends. He himself knew that he was a homosexual man and the student was probably a rather religious man who found the concept of liking the opposing gender to be a sin. Somehow, they were talking after class one day about something other than religion and the student finally introduced himself.

"Dean Winchester, I probably should've started off with that."

His voice was husky and deep, something that Castiel found rather attractive and would never complain about. Throughout this normal conversation, he found out that Dean had plans to own his own bar but needed to take management courses and investing to be able to apply for a license to own a successful establishment. Which made him curious. Why would someone who had very strong opinions on religion want to own a bar? So, he asked. Dean would go on to explain that he was sort of religious. He didn't know the bible back to back, he didn't even identify with a group. He would say that all he knew, was that there was a god out there who was just and looked out for his family. They could believe what they wanted and if they were good people, then good things would happen.

How wrong he would turn out to be.

After the conversation they had, they exchanged phone numbers and established a time of where they could simply hang out and not worry about school. Just get to know each other and become friends so they could know someone on campus if they ever wanted to just chill or be study partners. They hung out almost every day after classes, went out to eat at the best local diners, and they did this for a solid month. Then one day, they planned on hanging out some time at night. Well, when they finally hung out in Dean's dorm, they drunk and drunk all the alcohol that they could. They played games, ate food, and seemed to be having a really good time. That was until they decided to play truth or dare. Soon enough a dare came up that turned out to be the best mistake of both of their lives. A night of sloppy kisses and uncoordinated limbs flying about.

However, in the morning it was clear that Dean had never done what they did last night before. Well, at least he hadn't done it with a man before. He was out of bed and walking around the bathroom. Pacing and worrying. His mind going into fun yet dark places. When Castiel finally woke up and found where he was, he and Dean had a long conversation. Dean went on to explain how he was raised in a strict fear in god father who never let him or his brother, who's name was Sam, differ. Sam was always the one who had the guts to say anything wrong against their father while Dean just sat and listened. Dean knew deep down in his heart that being attracted to the same gender wasn't wrong, but his upbringing terrified him to a point that he felt shame to even look at himself in the mirror. Castiel listened quietly and offered mild support. Dean has always come across as the type of guy who pulled up his boot straps and fixed issues by himself, so Castiel didn't want to push a set line. He did offer the best advice that he could, and saying that he would support any decision that Dean decided to make.

The next month was rather awkward. Dean didn't speak as much in class, he would only hang out with Castiel during certain times and he didn't want them to drink anything while they hung out. Castiel was alright with this, that night was a mistake for Dean, and he didn't want to force anything onto the other.

Time went on and slowly Castiel noticed that Dean was talking more, smiling, and willing to hang out anytime they would set. He even allowed alcohol to be added back into the mix to a certain degree. One night while they were just hanging out and watching TV, Dean admitted that he was struggling with accepting his bisexuality and that he started talking to the mental health counselor that the college provided to the school, free of charge. He explained he wasn't ready for that sort of relationship yet, but he wanted to some day and asked Castiel if he would be willing to wait for him. Now, Castiel knew he couldn't promise anything, but he did say that he won't actively search to be with someone else and Dean was comfortable with that decision.

Slowly, they formed a relationship that was more romantic then physical. Finally declaring each other as one another's boyfriends around Christmas of that year.

Soon their relationship grew to new levels and Dean seemed happy, truly happy. Castiel felt the exact same. He never knew what he was missing or what he wanted until he met the man in front of him. This man was what he could see, and he did not want to let it go. The rest of the school year flew by and neither seemed to notice. During that summer, Castiel introduced Dean to his mother. His mother was very accepting, although she was a little disappointed that Dean wasn't the most comfortable during the trip that she had wanted him to be. His mother asked if he did anything to offend Dean in private with her son, and Castiel briefly explained that he hadn't done this before and left it at that.

Now with Dean, meeting his family was like pulling teeth out of his jaw. The first problem was that he would need to actually come out to his father and brother and based on how they reacted would determine on if he was willing to introduce Castiel to them. His brother Sammy was still too young to go off to school, so he knew whatever he told his brother or father, the other would hear if he didn't talk about it first. Dean managed to get Sam out of the house and take him to his favorite diner as well as going to the library which was one of Sam's favorite places to go- due to him wanting to be a lawyer one day. While in the car, Dean had a very awkward conversation of explain to Sam that he was an adult and he could make his own choices. That no matter what, Dean loved Sam the same way and that he would never do anything to hurt him. Sam would laugh and tell Dean that it sounded like he was expecting for Sam to come out of the closet. Dean laughed and said something without missing a beat.

"Kinda, but actually I'm the one coming out."

It went a lot better than Dean had thought it would've gone. Sam was confused of course, but didn't care because he got up and hugged Dean as tightly as he could. Later that day he introduced Castiel who was at a hotel nearby and they had dinner together. Sam played 20 questions with the other, making sure he was a right fit for Dean. Castiel would chuckle and later admit that he was surprised by how mature Sam was, and that he seemed more protective of Dean than he thought a 14 year old would be.

The conversation with his father did not go as well. Not at all. Dean took his father to a steakhouse and paid for the meal as well, wanting his father John to be in the best mood before he was to come out. Dean was a stuttering mess and was obviously more nervous about his father than he was with Sam. Castiel would note that the days leading up to the confession, Dean would barely eat and would complain of chest pains that were caused by his anxiety. However, Dean was able to go through with it. After the steakhouse, Dean took his father home and even cleaned up their trailer home. He even told Sam that he was going to come out and to make sure that he was at a friends house that night in case anything went wrong. Apparently, John had noticed how attentive Dean had been all night and knew it had to be about something important. He noticed how much happier Dean would sound on the phone when he called home, and that he's spotted multiple hickies that his son mustn't had been aware of. John knew that after the steakhouse his son was going to tell him something, but never this. Dean sat down eventually in front of his father, talking about how he was off to college and that he could make grown adult choices. He was one of the older students in his freshmen class and that he wasn't distracted. Finally, he admitted that he met someone. John smiled and asked for her name. That's when he paused and simply said, Castiel.

Dean came back to the hotel that night, covered in bruises and small droplets of blood. No tears, he was too tough to cry. He's never cried in the entire year that Castiel knew him, but he knew how badly Dean wanted to. Dean went on to explain that his father practically disowned him and forbid him from ever talking to Sam while he lived under his roof. A part of Castiel knew this would most likely happen, but the look on Dean's face when he came through the door made the reality all too real.

From then on, Castiel helped Dean to find ways to talk to Sam. Buying burner phones, writing letters with someone else's name on the outside, and sneaking by when he knew the father would be at his job.

Castiel's relationship strengthened over time, by the time they were both in their junior year, he asked Dean to move in with him in an apartment that gave local students large discounts to live there as long as they stayed for the full lease. Dean accepted with cheers of joy. From then on, they where almost inseparable. They did almost everything together. Their own little traditions started to form. Every Friday night was the day they'd go out to eat. Dean would always pick the same diner while Castiel would pick more fancy places and would change were ever week. The only downside was that Dean would refuse to wear anything that made him be in a suit, so he would always look like a sore thumb when they went out.

After college, Castiel was able to get into a job within his chosen field. He always wanted to be an actor, so he got into a small gig on a new tv show series. He wasn't a main character, but a large supporting role. Dean worked multiple jobs, from a mechanic to fast food before he was able to make enough to actually achieve his dream. He bought his dream bar. He made it his baby. From the floor to the booths to the the lights hanging off of the ceiling. It was pure beauty. All of his hard work paid off, the sleepless nights and body aches made him have his true vision. Rocky's is finally open.

Castiel couldn't help the excitement he felt for Dean, seeing his dream come to life was almost as exciting for him to get his dream job. For the first time since he's met Dean, this was the first time he saw him actively cry. The moment he said those words, the tears just flooded down his face and Castiel was there to scoop him into his arms and relish the moment together. It was as if everything was finally in place and that nothing would ever change that. Their lives couldn't get any better.

But they could get worst.

Castiel got a phone call while he was on set, and it was from Dean. The moment he saw the caller ID he knew something was wrong. Out off all their time of being together, Dean would always text first and ask if it was okay to call at that moment. Castiel could remember himself taking a breath and picking up the phone, to hit answer and hear Dean's sobs. These sobs weren't the same as when the bar opened. These ones were gut wretching, open mouthed, snot dripping sobs and he knew something terrible must've happened. He didn't even tell the cast were he was going before he was already in the car and out racing back to their apartment, only to be met with his beloved boyfriend on the couch, cuddled into a ball on the couch, holding a really old and torn up blanket. His face was red and he'd been crying so hard that tears weren't able to come out, blood drenched his shirt as it looked as if he'd been clawing at his neck to get some air to breathe. Castiel dropped his bag and rushed over, now pulling Dean up against him as tightly as possible and hushing him gently to let him cry it out. He couldn't think of anything in the world to make his stone faced rock cry like this. They probably sat their for hours until Den was finally able to tell Castiel what had happened.

His brother.

He should've known, that was his own fault. By this point Sam had moved out of the house and was at college all on his own. He and Dean would hang out every weekend at the bar or somewhere up at his college. Dean had been shaving when he got the call from police. He wiped his face and picked up the phone when the police told him the news. Samuel Winchester was found killed in his dorm room. There was no signs of forced entry and it looked to have been mauled by a bear. There was no witnesses and no video recording caught on that night.

After the call, Dean was never the same again. The funeral was probably the hardest part in the beginning. Thankfully Sam was a legal adult so John couldn't ban Castiel or Dean from coming, if Dean wasn't able to go, he doubt Dean would've bounced back. It was a closed casket funeral. The funeral director said that they had done all that they could to restore the body, but there wasn't much. They believed it would be better for the public to not have their last image of Sam to be this one. Dean did all the planning, every single damn thing he made sure to do himself. The way Dean was acting, Castiel began to believe that his boyfriend blamed himself for the death of his brother. Which would turn out to be the case. Dean didn't leave the gravesight the whole day, people would come to talk to him and Castiel would silently usher them away or to talk to John. Once it finally became dark and started to rain, Castiel had to pry his boyfriend off of the ground and take him back to the car. Dean refused to drive. He made Castiel do it. Dean had to be pried from the car and put into bed.

It was weeks. Dean wouldn't get out of bed, he wouldn't eat, he wouldn't drink. He didn't even ask about the bar. He didn't even ask about the car. He didn't even speak unless Castiel started the conversation.

Castiel took over the bar, he knew that Dean would hate himself even more if the bar closed while he was grieving. He spoke to the people on the show that he was on and asked if they would be willing to make his character go missing for a year so he could focus on his boyfriend for the time being. Thankfully, they agreed and said that he will just be gone for one season, but needed him to come back in the one after. Castiel was extremely thankful and focused all his time on the bar and Dean.

It was a slow process, the entire time taking about a year, but Dean eventually left the bed on his own and went to the couch. He was able to leave the couch and get himself something to drink. He was able to get on over to make himself something to eat. Castiel never commented on it, because he knew Dean. He knew Dean better than anyone else. Dean didn't like to be given pity, and he certainly didn't like to be complimented on for doing something that he thought didn't deserve a compliment. Him getting up to eat? He didn't want it to even be acknowledged. He even eventually started talking to Castiel once he was back from work. Castiel smiled and was happy he was getting back to his old self. However, he was worried when Dean would speak about certain things. Dean mentioned how he'd lost faith in god and didn't think angel's actually were looking out for their family. He and Sam did everything right, but they let this happen. Faith was the last straw to break.

"What are these?"

Castiel asked. He had gone back to work on the TV show once Dean decided he was well enough to go back. Their life was slowly being rebuilt and Dean seemed fine. Castiel suspected something was up and knew that Dean was hiding something. He always hid his emotions, but this was different. Whenever he was upset about something he would always say a comment about it, even a small one. He hadn't said a word about Sam since he started to be himself again. Castiel got a bad feeling and started looking around the house and found something that he should've expected. A large pill bottle having been tucked away under Dean's side of the mattress, as well as a small handgun under his pillow. Once Dean got home that night, Castiel confronted him and had both on the coffee table. Dean froze the moment he saw them and he didn't know what to say. They stared at each other for a long time, it maybe lasted a minute before Dean spoke up. He never was one to win their stare downs. He explained that after Sam died, he was afraid that one night while they were sleeping... a bear or something would break in and he wanted to make sure that he could protect them like he couldn't do for Sam.

Once Castiel asked about the pill bottle, that's when things turned dark. Dean argued that it was something someone at the bar gave him to help him sleep at night, but Castiel knew the name on the drug bottle and knew it wasn't meant for sleep. He pushed and pushed which only made it worst. The apartment was full of yelling and shouts. Tears flooded down Castiels face as they both yelled things at each other that they knew neither really meant. The yelling got so bad that the police where called to investigate, but they were soon dismissed, but given a formal warning about their volume.

Castiel didn't sleep in the bed that night.

More time went on and things only got worst. Dean started showing up drunk after having closed the bar, and more bottles of pain relief medication and other heavy narcotics started showing up around their apartment. Castiel would find them hidden in places that he knew weren't easy to get into, and Dean started to slowly become more irritable. Shouting matches became a weekly tradition and the loser would sleep on the couch. Most of the time Dean as the one who ended up on the couch after Castiel put his foot down. Dean stopped working out and eating was barely an activity for him. His eyes had sunken and the once brilliant green that Castiel fell in love with became a dark grey. Dean never rose a hand to Castiel, even in this messed up state that he was in, he truly loved him and couldn't dream about hurting him.

Four years after Sam died, came the night where Castiel just couldn't take it anymore. He packed his bags and moved out. He didn't tell Dean where he was going, but he told him that it was over.

While he was gone, Dean went down the deep end and didn't seem like he was going to come back up for air. He destroyed everything in their apartment. The mirrors shattered, tv crushed, anything that he could get his hands on was broken. After this he was evicted from the complex and became homeless. Dean had to close the bar early so he could live and sleep in the tight and cramp office. He started to lose business and the bank would be knocking on the door any day now and make Dean declare bankruptcy. The day a banking representative came to make Dean consider selling was the first time in five years that he sobered up. He knew he couldn't live like this anymore... he already lost his brother, and he's about to lose the bar. He probably already lost the love of his life while he was at it...

Castiel to this day doesn't know how Dean managed to track him down. But, he was glad he did. He got a knock on the door and he opened it up and there he was. Dean was dressed in a suit, drenched in rain. Castiel was too shocked it was Dean to not realize that Dean was shaking from how cold he was, and that Dean was still standing in the rain.

"I know I fucked up, Cass." He began. "You deserve a man that is way better than I will ever be. I wish I could be the man that I was when I first met you, when I could see you smile simply by saying you're whole name. I..." He paused for a moment. "I need you, Cass." Dean let out a shaky breath. "I'm going into rehab tomorrow. I don't know how long I'll be there for, but..." he carefully reached into the house and took Castiel's hand and held it tightly as he dropped something into it. "I want to go out once I'm sober, I-I don't know when that'll be but I'm giving you the keys to Rocky's. You can sell it, tear it down, anything you want. I love you."

With that, Dean left, never even giving Castiel a chance to say one word. Castiel just watched him get into the car and leave. He looked down at the key's in his hand before closing the door behind himself as he walked back inside.

Dean was inside the rehab center for three months, it was awful and the worst thing he felt like he'd ever done. When he did finally get out, he held a chip in his hand that was congratulating him on being sober for one month. He'll get the six month chip as long as he keeps his goals. He even got a sponsor that he will meet up every week to make sure he was on the straight and narrow. He didn't see Castiel the whole time he was there, which was difficult. He needed the encouragement. God he knew how badly he needed it, but he couldn't call Cass to let him know where he was. He said once he was sober, and he meant it. Dean walked the streets alone and didn't know where he could go. All he had was his phone and clothes on his back, his feet led him back to Rocky's. He expected to see a clothing store or something like that, maybe even the building in the process of being torn down. However, he did not expect to see it still standing and full of customers. He blinked a couple of times before slowly walking into it and he saw familiar faces as well as new ones. He smiled sadly to himself before freezing slightly as he looked behind the bar and saw him. Castiel. There he was, wearing a staff uniform and his rolled out of bed hair brushed out.

Castiel eventually saw him, and once he did, he thanked the customer he was talking to and came out from behind the bar and right up to Dean who couldn't even look him in the eye. He told the manager that he hired she was in charge for a while before taking Dean to a back room where they talked. Boy did they talk. Castiel asked about the rehab center and how Dean felt. Dean explained how honestly awful it was. That's when Castiel noticed the chip Dean was clenching onto where he gave a soft smile and asked if he was sober. Dean nodded and mumbled something about feeling better whenever he was holding the chip. Castiel gave a soft smile, and finally agreed to go on that date.

Ever since, Dean has been following the plan that his sponsor set out for him. The hardest thing for him was staying away from the bar. He was allowed to go back in and help restack and talk to customers, but the plan was that he was not allowed to go behind the bar until he was one year sober. Somehow he was able to make it, and Castiel felt like they were in college all over again with Dean doing everything in his power to make up for all those years. Special treatment, flowers, chocolate, and anything in between to show his love for his boyfriend. He even actually dressed in a suit when they went out to eat, even if they went to diner. All this love... It even came with a new nickname.

"My little angel."

Castiel was glad to finally have Dean back, he's been missing for five years and finally they could be together again. However, luck and fate weren't through with them yet.


	2. The Essence of Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, I'm going to try start writing in the present time opposed to setting up all this backstory. All of this is in context of what happened after Dean and Castiel reconciled at the end of the last chapter. Once the story really begins in chapter 3, Dean will be around 33 and Castiel 29 or so.

Fate is something that people have always decided to run away from, the illusion of freewill made society feel powerful and afraid of what others may do with this choice. At the end of the day, a decision has already been made and the decision will never be changed to create a new path or story to follow. When children are young, they will do whatever they felt like without having the need to worry about what their decisions will lead someone else to do the next day. They live in the moment, and don't feel the need to think about how they were affecting others. Their fate is unwritten, unchanged. Yet, that is an another illusion that a mother would tell her child. There is a plan in place. Fate's cruelest game is making someone think they are able to change history, but in the end- making them realize that their fate was merely a means to an end. 

Fate may never be finished with Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester, but it was merciful enough to allow five fantastic years between the couple rekindle the love that was lost. Castiel was casted into a larger role in a different production of a new television series and Dean was able to follow along with his sponsor, now having made it five years sober. Leaving the domestic pair in in their early 30's and their whole lives ahead of the. Although it might have been considered guilt, but Dean wanted to do everything he could to prove his love so Castiel any chance he would get. The man knew that he screwed their relationship during his grief about Sam, and he was going to show that he was going to make up for it and more. He started off doing big romantic gestures, using some helpful YouTube videos and pictures online. He ordered flowers so often that Castiel had to either throw them away or give them to the some people at his work. Dean saved up as much money as he could to surprise it all to Castiel on their anniversary, he said that together they built their own family and made each other their home. So now, he wanted to make their own home together. 

He bought a decent amount of land in the town that Castiel worked in, and together they started building their dream home. Castiel couldn't help but blush when the process all started, because he knew this project was more of a show of passion and love opposed to Dean's selfish desires. Well, besides the fact that his significant other made sure they where in the forest. Take the boy out of Kanas, but can't take the Kanas out of the boy. He also knew that this was another way for Dean to get sometime out of his head. A thing that Castiel noticed ever since Dean came back from rehab, is that he's made himself more lumber and making use of his hands. Apparently, it was a coping technique to help Dean not to focus on the death of his brother, as well as to help keep him away from any alcohol. If he was covered in grime then he wouldn't step anywhere near the bar. Castiel would come visit after a long day of shooting, sat up on the hood of his car and watched Dean work with a local construction crew to build the place the ground up. The project also helped encourage Dean to work out again, not that Castiel complained about that. However, whenever Dean would catch Castiel staring, he always made it a point to flex.

Castiel knew it was wrong to enjoy all the attention and love that Dean had been showing him. He knew Dean all to well to know exactly why he was doing this. He felt guilty, he felt shame, and he wanted to make it up. It was always the little things that Castiel would find himself takin g a guilty pleasure in. The good morning and goodnight kisses. The cups of coffee waiting on the table after he finished his morning shower. The little love notes that Dean had snuck into his bag. The constant cuddling, and everything in between. However, he never expected that Dean would try to 'do it' with him while they were both sober. Yes, they had done it multiple times before, but each time Dean and Castiel would be so drunk that they didn't have any problems getting in bed with one another. The logic behind this was still the acceptance of Dean's sexuality and that was completely fine. That was before he had gone into rehab, however. Castiel knew that their sexual love life was probably gone due to the new rule of never having alcohol or medicine in that house, and he was content. He would never force or pressure Dean into doing something he wasn't comfortable with. Then one day, Dean had come back from the bar, glistening in rain water and a shirtless chest from having used it to try and keep himself dry. Which failed. Castiel didn't hide his very much sexual attraction to Dean at the time, and Dean knew it. He had come over and planted a heavy kiss against his lover and they made their way to the bedroom. Castiel asked multiple times if Dean was comfortable and alright with what was happening, and Dean would reply with a husky voice, saying that he was. 

The pair would continue like this for quite some time, gifts would fill rooms of their apartment and words of admiration would fill their souls with peace and joy and contentment. Someone from the outside looking in on the couple might've thought they were fresh newlyweds by the amount of love that would fill the house the moment the two were together and alone. All of the locals where happy to see the two of them getting back together and that the rift between them had left. They were the only gay couple in town, but everyone loved them nonetheless. Dean would offer up his bar for a nice meal spot for students after field trips since he didn't run the bar full speed during the morning hours, and Castiel would donate a large sum of money to building playgrounds and putting together fundraisers for different programs around the city. 

Of course, this sort of attention and joy would draw out those who didn't believe in their life style. Men and women alike who would stop be in town and not understand how it was run would come stomping in and giving a piece of their minds to the pair. A lady once came in and began flirting with Castiel when he was at the bar. He rejected her advances and stated that he was in a relationship. He didn't need to be in a relationship to reject her. However, she kept insisting on taking him into a backroom and showing Castiel a good time. The locals knew what was about to happen, most stayed around to watch. Now, Dean has always been protective over Cass, even before rehab. So when he saw this woman was making his angel uncomfortable? He was going to mark his territory. Dean simply walked up, wrapped his arms around the shorter male and gave a pointed glare. Asking if everything was alright and if something was making the other uncomfortable. The woman realized her mistake, but now was disgusted. She went off and yelled how they were both sinners and that hell was waiting for them. She would kick and scream as security dragged her out of the building. 

These encounters really took affect on Dean and Castiel, every time after the they would happen, the locals would always apologize and offer anything they could to make their night's better. They would always refuse and would both put on a smile to let them know everything was alright. The moment the bar would close at night, Dean would go with Castiel in a backroom and talk. Talking always seemed to clear the air between the two of them and talking is what they needed from each other. They really where okay, she was just being an idiot drunk, and that everyone who they associated with would back them up every day of the week. The talks were something that Dean's sponsor suggested. The sponsor said that talking about whatever made them feel negatively was a course of action to open a doorway for them to have better communication and to help Dean not feel the urge to take more pills to help with his mental pain.

It actually helped quite a bit. Back when these started happening, Dean was very close to relapsing and the only thing that prevent him from going to the nearest drugstore or dealer was Castiel hiding the keys to bar and car so Dean wouldn't leave and to help remind him why he was fighting so hard for. Castiel came up for a new solution for this though. He found a glass bowl and put it on the cabinet at the front of the house, right next to the door, and put all of Dean's chips inside of it. The one week, one month, three months, six months, a year? Every chip was placed into this bowl so that any time Dean was alone and felt an urge, he would see the chips and feel better about himself and the new situation. Dean always had the one day sober token in his pocket though, in his own way, it was his way to fight back any urge. To remind him to just get through this day and everything would be alright. 

Time passed as it always does, and the house was finally ready. Dean wanted to surprise Castiel even more by putting in all their old furniture from the apartment into the new home, and even added more furniture that he bought from the store, simply because they didn't have enough to fill up the whole space. Dean had to admit, he probably should've had Castiel take over on the decorating, because a lot of the stuff he picked out weren't exactly the best looking. He wanted to go more with comfort. So there were beanbag chairs, lazy boys, tv's, etc. The house looked like a weird mesh of modern day furniture that a lumberjack exploded on. Castiel loved it either way, he believed it matched their personalities rather well and they just needed to like it, no one else. Castiel remembered returning home to the apartment and finding it empty, his first worry was that Dean might've relapsed and sold the furniture to pay someone off, but when he got a call from his boyfriend that told him to meet at the house, he knew he was mistaken. The image of Dean looking proud and confident in himself, as well as nervous and worried was something Castiel would never take away.

It was their home. They built this. No one could take this away from them. 

That night, the pair slept in their new house and new bed and new room. They of course had to break it in, which was rather odd at first, because it felt like they were in a hotel room and not wanting to ruin anything. Yet, it was thrown out the window once they became intimate. After, they laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, soft and relaxing smiles one their faces with their hand's clasped together. Castiel didn't want to ruin the moment, he just closed his eyes and listened to the other's heart beat and panted breaths. Nothing could ruin this moment.

"Do you believe in Angels?" Dean spoke.

Castiel was rather surprised Dean had even spoken, he was used to them cuddling and falling asleep this late. However, he decided to indulge and responded. "I'm not sure. Do you?"

There was a moment of pause, Dean left out a soft and gentle sigh, a small smile had formed on his lips that he thought Castiel wouldn't see due to the dark, but Cass saw it all. "My mother used to tell me that angel's where watching over me." He said softly. "For the longest time I believed her. I thought that since they were watching over me that nothing bad would go wrong as long as we saw what they did for us."

Castiel would pause to think as Dean's words, slowly adjusting how he was in the blankets and resting a hand on the others chest, which was met with Dean pulling the other closer. "You never told me that before." He comments. "Did she say anything else?"

Dean gave a soft chuckle, his eyes never leaving the ceiling above them. "No... she died a long time ago, but I remembered something recently." He gave a slight pause. "I used to think that every family would have their own Angel." He chuckled yet again. "I know that sounds ridiculous, but... image. Every family in the world had their own angel that watched them, keeping them safe from the outside world."

"Well..." Castiel says looking up at Dean's face. "Who do you think your angel is?"

"I don't have to think." Dean looked down at Castiel, his hand carefully cupping the bottom of the others jaw, a gentle thumb rubbing against the other's scruffy chin. "I already know he's in my arms."

Castiel knew that was an attempt at flattery, and it worked. However, Dean never got into these chick-flick moments for a long amount of time so Castiel thought it would be best to end it before he expected more romance. "Go to bed Dean. I have work tomorrow." He mumbles, then he gave Dean a soft kiss against the cheek, before rolling over and burying his face into the blankets. Dean chuckled and wrapped his arms around the other's waist and pulled him close, his head tucking in between the part of his neck. Slowly taking in a deep breath. "Dean?" Castiel said softly.

"Hmm?"

"That's not going to sleep."

"I know."

After that night, a weird thing started to happen. They would come home and do the typical routine of talking about each other's days, smiling and laughing and just spending time together before crawling into bed to go to sleep. Whenever it was silent enough that a pin could drop and they'd hear it, Dean would start speaking. At first, Castiel found it odd since it started to become the same topic or typical things every night. Dean would say something that was out of the blue and somehow turn it into a pick up line without remorse or a second thought. A part of him wanted to believe that this was a new attempt of flattery. Castiel wondered if Dean was spending time just looking up these random story telling ideas and retelling them as if they were his own. However, Castiel knew it wasn't. The questions or comments would always have deep and personal connections with whatever Dean was thinking about or feeling that day. The questions or thoughts always were around the ideas of God and Angels, some even were talks about demons and things in the dark. Cass didn't know why Dean kept talking this way, so he knew he'd ask the next time the other brought up angels.

"All of the best angel's end in 'el'." Dean said one night, even when he was almost asleep but felt the need to speak.

Castiel rubbed his tired eyes and looked over at him. "What do you mean?" He asks, willing to encourage the other's behavior.

Dean was silent for a moment, almost sounding like he had gone to sleep, but it was just Dean holding his necklace tightly in his hands and closing his eyes to think. "Well there's Uriel Michael, Gabriel, and of course you, Castiel." He says with a soft chuckle.

Castiel would roll his eyes in a playful tone before turning over on his side to look at the other better. "That's good to know." He comments.

There was another long moment of pause, Castiel could feel Dean's heartrate slowly rise and his breathing slowing down to help himself to stay come. Whatever he was going to say, must really mean a lot to him. "I know Sam's up there." 

His eyes slightly widen, he... he honestly wasn't expecting that. He couldn't remember the last time Dean had brought up his little brothers name. "What?" Was all he could think to ask.

"Samuel... his name end's with 'el' like everyone else. He always believed in heaven, even though he didn't agree with the other stuff dad would teach us." Dean held the necklace tighter, letting out a forced chuckled breath. "He probably found his own family to watch over. Two parents and two kids, probably a nerdy couple who names their kids after Marvel characters or Star wars." He says letting out a shaky breath, his hand shaking slightly as it seemed rather forced for him to speak that thought.

Castiel took the other's shaky hand and clasped it within his own, hoping it would provide Dean some peace. "Dean..." He said softly, "What happened? Why did you start bringing all of this up?" he asked gently.

Dean now opened his eyes, they looked to have been irritated by the color of the whites in his eyes looking rather red in the darkness. "D-do you believe in angels?" He asks softly, repeating the question he said the first night. His voice shaking slightly as he seemed to be fighting with his own emotions. 

Castiel could see how desperate Dean was trying to fight back the tears and to break down, but he couldn't figure out why. "I'm not sure, Dean. I never really thought about angels." He said softly, now sitting up and sitting beside a laying Dean, his hands now tightly wrapped around the other's. Showing his true support. "My mother used to say something to me awhile ago when I was a child. She'd say, 'God finds a way, his own way.' So, I never really thought about the angels, just god." He hoped that would reassure, a part of him wanting to believe that this had to do with Dean just asking questions because he was tired, but he knew that wasn't the case. The struggling man listened tp the others reply, and a sob escaped his throat that he was trying so desperately to keep locked down. Only one, he managed to stop himself but he knew if he spoke again another would escape. Castiel didn't skip a beat before pulling Dean up and against his chest, holding him close as a hand gently caressed the others hair in an attempt to cool Dean's head. "Hey.. hey it's okay... you can tell me anything."

The Winchester let out a couple shaky and sobbing breaths, it was so much harder to keep his emotions in check nowadays. "Sam... Sam and I used to..." another breath, "We would play pranks on our teachers when we got into a new school thanks to our dad moving us around a lot. We would always use fake names... backstories, and some..." He let's out a shaky breath, "Some were true stories that we found in the newspaper or something." He explained softly. "A few weeks ago... I was at the bar and rolling out pay roll when I saw a name..." Dean slowly pulled back from Castiel to sit up correctly on the bed, trying to breathe. Cass returned to his side and put a kind and warming hand on the other's back to keep him going. "The name was Michael Plant, and- and that was Sammy's favorite name to use whenever we would mess around with our teachers. And... and I thought I was mistaken, but I read the article and..." He lets out another soft sigh. "The name had the backstory what Sammy gave to the character. A gambler who burned the left side of his hand after a cig caught on some whisky that the man spilt- and-and I looked it up.. th-the man died th-the day I found the article and..." His body began to slightly shake again, feeling his body betraying him. "Sammy's trying to-to tell me he's okay... he's telling me a-angels are watching us Cass, i just... he's okay-" He says letting out another heavy sob, his eyes working against him as multiple tears flooded down his face, his head falling back to look at the ceiling. "I can h-hear you Sammy, I-I can hear you..." He says through reluctant sobs. 

Castiel pulled him into a tight hug, Dean mumbling more and more about his little brother about how he was okay and that he believed again. Cass... Cass didn't know what to say, what could he have said in this situation? Of course Castiel didn't believe in heaven or hell or angels or anything like that, but here his lover was... having an almost panic attack from believing in Angels yet again. So, he did the best he could do. Staying quiet and letting the other cry on his shoulder and carefully making them fall back asleep and onto the bed. A part of him wondered if Dean would remember this in the morning. He honestly felt rather delirious, and a part of Castiel wished that Dean would forget all about this so he didn't feel bad about crying in front of Cass yet again. 

When the morning came, Dean was being his usual happy self. Giving kisses to Castiel the moment he saw him, made the typical coffee like he did every morning, but Castiel noticed that some of it seemed rather forced. Yes, he knew that most of this was probably forced since the beginning. This time, it felt more like Dean was simply doing it to just do it. The purpose being different. 

Dean had been sitting on the couch at the time when Castiel came over and sat beside him, not saying anything besides giving the other the typical stare. Cass would always use this stare to either make Dean be quiet or to get him to open up about something that had clearly been bothering him. His significant other would always comment how it would always make him uncomfortable, yet it was always the boost that he needed to open up. The beginning of their relationship, Dean would always stare back and it was always a silent challenge and who'd ever look away first would have to open up. Dean always lost. So, when he felt Castiel's eyes on him, he didn't even look up. He hadn't been in the mood for these sorts of things, so he just spoke his truth. "I'm sorry about last night." He commented. "I know you don't believe in that sort of stuff, but I've been feeling it for awhile and I had to talk about it. You didn't deserve to go through that." 

Castiel stayed silent, almost as if waiting to see if Dean would continue on with his story or unneeded apology. When nothing came, Castiel rested his head against his shoulder. "Just because I don't believe in it, doesn't mean you don't get to." He said simple.

"I'm crazy." He chuckles, wiping his face with his hand. 

"You are not crazy." Castiel says now sitting up to look at the other. "If you saw something that you believe is a sign, don't talk yourself out of it. You haven't mentioned Sam in a long time, and if you need this to help you grieve, then you let this help you grieve."

The rest of the day had gone and went. Most days felt like that now. The pair would do their own thing and come back together and hang out. Of course they did have friends that would come and bug them that they would hang out with, but they just needed each other and that was alright. Their lives were perfect, boring, and the only spice needed was already there. Castiel was rather nervous about that revelation, however. Every time in the past where they felt alright and that nothing was going to hurt them and nothing was going to change? Something bad would always happen. Sometimes Castiel would wonder if this was the way God wanted to show himself, prove himself to Castiel that he existed. Taking away something that he loved and making his life spiral downwards. If that was the case, then right now he would've been worried. He'd be watching every corner and any signs that something bad was going to happen, that disaster was going to strike and it would only get worst the more they finally felt happy with their lives. 

For now, that didn't happen.

What did happen was a proposal. One that wasn't cliche or full expenses paid for a week long vacation to Hawaii. It was laid back, styled, and almost like it was in the spur of the moment. Castiel was told to show up and meet Dean at a new diner that he found across from where the bar was. It was newly opened by one of his ex-managers, and Dean wanted to show his support by being one of the first guests at the establishment. Her name was Pamela and was a key supporter in helping Castiel keep the business running while Dean was in rehab. If it wasn't for her, the bar probably would've went under in less than a week. Castiel showed up and found Dean chatting up with management. He came up behind them and pulled Dean to sit down so they could order and chat. Nothing special really happened as they ate and simply chatted about another's day, and it felt like any other normal eat out. 

"Would you marry me?" Dean said casually, after taking a bite of his bacon cheeseburger.

Castiel coughs out of surprise, slightly choking on the water he was guzzling. "Excuse me?" 

Dean shrugs and set his burger down and took s swig of his soda. "Would you ever want to talk down the isle to me?" He says being a little more descriptive.

He let out a soft and confused chuckle, the other's tone sounded like he was just asking any other question. Like if he wanted pickles on a burger, that casual. "Well, of course. Why do you ask?"

"Well I've thinking about it for awhile." The male stated as he grabbed a napkin out of the holder and wipes off his hands. "I just know that I've wanted you to only be mine for the rest of my life, but I didn't know if you felt the same. I hoped you did, but you can't ever be too careful, ya know?" Dean sat back and rubbed his hands together. "Bit of an informal proposal, am I right?"

Castiel shrugged with a small smile. "Maybe a little bit."

"Sorry, I'll make sure to buy a ring and try again. I guess that steakhouse down the road would be a better setting."

"Hey-" Castiel reached his hands over the table, and took the other's into his own. "I loved it, it matches your personality so well." 

Dean chuckled and leaned closer. "I'm going to do a big gesture now just so we can get a free dessert."

Castiel laughs slightly as he took his hands back. "Don't you dare!"

"I'm getting down onto one knee." He announced while giving a smirk and wiggled his brows before getting down on the floor. This caused Castiel to laugh out loud, a hand covering his eyes out of pure embarrassment, not being able to watch at how ridiculous Dean was being. "I'm reaching into my pocket..."

"Oh my god, Dean you're acting like an idiot!" Dean reached up and grabbed Castiel's arm and pulled it down so the other could face him. Castiel continued to loudly giggle and looked down at the other before he froze. He really thought this was all for show, but then he really saw Dean, on the ground... holding a small box in his free hand. "Dean...?" He says softly. 

The country boy gave a smile as he opened up box, this was one of the very few times the other actually looked nervous or vulnerable. "Castiel Misha Novak... will you marry me?"

"Of course I'd marry you..."


	3. The Manifestation of Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Accident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here's where the story truly begins! I'm not the best at writing dialogue, so some of it will come from the actual SPN universe just so it sounds more authentic. Also, I'm planning on trying to update once or twice a week, but with my College schedule it'll be hard for me to stay super consistent so that is my rough estimate. I might get out another one on Friday, just have to wait and see.

Guilt is the consequence from the illusion of free will. When society decided that they could rebel from their creators, rulers, and soldiers- they believed that the power of choice was up to them. However, free will meant that they must take responsibility for their actions. If the consequence of an action comes out to be poor or negatively perceived, that is when guilt manifests itself. Free will means that if someone hurt another, they would be help responsible for their actions. Guilt is when someone feels at fault for an action. This action could be their own, someone else's, or the failure to prevent an action that could never have been prevented in the first place. The most destructive kind of guilt, is the ladder. Men and women, parent and child would use events that they did not know about, weren't there to witness, or paralyzed by fear to react. The only common thread of when someone does experience guilt, is action. The action varies from person to person. The case of Dean Winchester is an over expression of love for his own actions. The case for Castiel Novak is yet to be written, but destiny has already sealed in the action and the way he will respond.

"I can't believe you guilted me into this trip, Cass." Dean says with a frustrated tone while he wrestled with an awkwardly shaped luggage. Honestly, Dean didn't know how the other could've fit so much clothes into such a little space when his luggage would always look like it was bursting at the seems. It wasn't right now, because Castiel was the one who decided to pack.

Castiel looks over from the hood of the car, a book in hand. He gave a small smirk as he watched Dean trying to fit the luggage into the trunk of the '67 Impala that the country boy purchased a few months back. The understanding that the two had, Castiel would pack the bags while Dean has to store the bags. It was very amusing to see the muscle head trying to solve the puzzle to make the bags fit. "We haven't seen Anna in months. An engagement isn't something that you mention over the phone. You got to make it a big deal, and show off the ring while you're at it."

Dean looked over with a huff, "Then why can't we take YOUR car? Your car is made to store stuff, it's trunk is ten times bigger than Baby's."

"I still can't believe you name the car, 'Baby'. Now I won't know if you're talking about me or the Impala." Castiel gets off of the hood of the car and moves over to the passengers side and sets down his book, making sure his bookmark was still in before walking over to the backside of the car where Dean was. "Also, you haven't left the neighborhood with your car, what's the point of having a car if you're not going to drive it?" He asked.

"This car, she's a classic. You don't drive classics hours at a time because you want them to last awhile. Ride in style." He winks and finally manages to get the luggage in to were he is able to close the trunk and lock it up before they can take off. Dean swirled the keys in his fingers before looking back up at Castiel. "Got everything for the road?"

Castiel nods, "Yup. Got my iced coffee, book, and that blanket you refuse to throw away." 

The road trip was going to take awhile, Castiel's sister Anna lived a few hours away in another state and the drive was going to take a long time. Anna was a unique soul, she was always soft spoken and well mannered. Anything she did was calculated and well thought out. However, she did decide to live in the coldest and farthest part of the state away from the pair. So, said pair decided that if they were going to be driving for that long, then they would need to be a little comfortable. Dean didn't need anything besides something to keep him awake, like a soda or something. He was going to be driving the whole time anyway so he needed to stay awake. Castiel- on the otherhand- was planning on making it the most relaxing drive he could make it. Started a book that he knew he could finish in a few hours, a blanket to keep himself all snuggled and bundled up, and then an ice coffee to really set the scene. When he usually read, he would just have a nice cup of tea, but he didn't want to actually burn himself in the car if they hit a bump. 

"Hey, that blanket is the warmest thing we got, so whenever a sudden blizzard hit's us or zombies come out of nowhere, we'll be prepared." Dean shrugged and went to the drivers side and got in.

Castiel paused and took a moment to think before getting in himself. "How would a blanket help us in a zombie apocalypse?" He asks.

Dean smirked as he started up the car and hit the road. "Smother the bastards. Or, at least mute and muffle a gunshot to the face." 

Castiel thought for a moment before shrugging and getting situated. One day he hoped they could take an actual road trip and visit some cool looking sites around the united states, to get everything done and seen for the trip that Castiel planned, the length of the trip would be at least a year. So, for the time being, he'll stick with his books and ice coffee. He knew he probably wouldn't even be able to read the book, because of how loud Dean would play his classic rock and role music whenever they drove for extended periods of time. It would be days like this, situations, that made Castiel question himself. In a nonromantic sense, he didn't know how he could have managed to not only fall in love- but stay in love with a man who was nothing like himself. If anything, he would've thought the person he'd be together with would always be some nerd or dork that played video games in his time. Not the stereotypical toxic masculinity poster child. The man built like a wrestler with a heart of a puppy, who was attached to a bar and old cars. Castiel would not have been too surprised if Dean was a mechanic who ran a bootleg business on the side in a past life. Occasionally, Castiel would remember what his mother would say, 'God find's a way, his own way'. Every time that he thought about it, it was always in different contexts and different ways to interpret the ideology of it all. In the mysterious case of Dean, Cass thought maybe God was showing that he was real by turning Dean's life around, or showing that he cared by giving them the fortune that they would sit down in a religion class and meet.

As predicted, Dean was only able to last an hour without blaring the music to a point where Castiel wasn't able to focus on the book he was reading or try to fall asleep, but it was still quiet enough to have a casual conversation with one another if they felt like it. For now though, Castiel looked out the window and watched the scenery come and go, changing from a plush riverside down to dessert and finally landing on a mild greenery. Something that Castiel has grown more fondness for while being with Dean, were the simplicities of silence and the beauty from doing nothing. The world always felt safe for him. He remembered a time where he and his siblings' would go outside and run around, playing on bikes, and not being afraid of what they were doing at that moment in time. The family never felt the need to lock their doors, and if anything bad did happen- then they would work through it together. The chances of anything bad happening and not being prepared was so slim, that Castiel never bothered to worry about anything. So what could possibly happen when his world flips upside down?

"She's my cherry pie! Buh du, dun dun eh dun!" Dean says now singing along to the music, his head bobbing slightly while his hands patted against the stirring wheel. The song really had a good beat.

Castiel rolled his eyes slightly than sat up and moved to face Dean while still being bundled up in his blanket to stay warm and just enjoy the ride. "I will never understand your taste in music, Dean." He comments.

Dean glanced over and chuckled slightly in thought, "Well, I will never understand your infatuation with Books, Cass. What book are you reading about anyway?" He asked as he looked back over at the road. They were in a much more scenic route, so the road wasn't as straight as it would've been if they went on the highway. They weren't in any rush, so why not take a more relaxing drive? 

"Oh, I found it in attic with some of Sam's things. It's a book on written on Wendigos, Native American legends and lore. Apparently, if someone decided to become cannibalistic in the mountains the spirit would come and possess them. Pretty interesting stuff." Castiel stated, looking at the back cover while he did to try and find who the author was. 

It only was recently when Dean decided it was okay for them to go through all of Sam's things. It's been tucked away in boxes for years and Dean didn't have the heart to go through all of Sam's things. Too many of the items in question would remind the older brother of memories they shared together, events and moments of their lives. He didn't know if it was disrespectful to violate Sam's privacy by going through the items that were left in his dorm that John didn't want to bother with, but once they moved to the newly built house- Dean felt it was finally time. He didn't want there to be a graveyard of memories when they could use and reclaim his memory by using any items or displaying them around the house. Yes, he still was slightly uncomfortable, but knew it would pass in time.

"Huh, I wonder why Sammy would've had a book like that." Dean commented.

"It was probably a required reading assignment for a class he was taking. It could fall into religion, history, creative writing, and anything in between. It's a small book, but I can't seem to find the author's name." The book's cover seemed rather authentic. It was bound by a brown leather and the stitching was made to look like it was by hand. It only had the topic as the title. The paper was rather old, having a slight yellow tinge to the look and the ink looking like it was made from a ballpoint pen, and not from a computer. Maybe the professor wrote it? "Whoever the author was, seems to really believe in the lore. Listen to this-" Castiel says flipping to the front page of the book where it gives basic disclaimers on the creature in question, "'More than anything, a wendigo knows how to last long winters without food. It hibernates for years at a time. When it's awake, it keeps its victims alive. It stores them so it can feed whenever it wants.'" He then closed the book and looked back over at Dean. "How terrifying is that?"

Dean nodded, giving a slight shrug. "Maybe it was written by someone who thinks they survived the encounter?"

"Maybe." Castiel wonders, his fingers touched the leather gingerly. Whoever did write it, sounds a bit paranoid. Not his business though, it was just entertainment after all. Closing the book, he tosses it back into the backseat. 

When he looks back up, he looks at the rearview mirror and freezes. In it, he... he didn't know what he saw. Yet, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the mirror. Yeah, he and Dean were in the mirror but so was something else. Castiel didn't know who, they didn't look familiar. The hair was a light blonde color, pale skin and dressed in what seemed to be a suit. That wasn't the disturbing piece though. The eyes... god the eyes were black. Everything, including the whites. Finally, he manages to pull his eyes away and look back into the back seat. No one was there. Castiel let out a breath that caught Dean's attention. 

Dean glances and noticed Castiel looking in the backseat and he himself gives a quick glance over before turning back to the road. "Everything good, Angel?" He asked.

Castiel nodded slowly and returned facing forward while chewing on his bottom lip. He had no clue what he just saw, "Yeah, yeah. It's probably just being tired from reading in the car. Also pair in the topic of the book- I'm just seeing things."

"Want me to pull over? Stretch our legs for a bit?" He asks.

Cass thinks for a moment before nodding, "Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks Deano." He looks back out the window, still softly smiling at the trees as he watched the passing scenery. 

Even while going at this speed, it was easy to see the animals trying to hide from civilization. That was always something that bothered Castiel. He knew that it was inevitable for people to be able to get place to place without roads and airplanes and trains so they would need to build up in forests where all the animals lived and it would destroy their homes or make them live a lot closer to dangerous vehicles or humans who want to make a quick buck off of meat and fur. Maybe all the animals should just be relocated to a new home that was too far away to be injured. While he was thinking this, however, Castiel started to notice that they weren't slowing down- but speeding up. They were going way too fast to stop or even to be on this road. "Dean- slow down-" He says looking over.

The look on Dean's face said it all. He was holding the wheel as tightly as possible while looking at the ground were the pedals were and his face was pale white. "The car won't stop, and the brake's aren't working." He says slamming his feet down on the breaks but nothing was happening. "Shit shit shit-" he says taking his hands off of the wheel. 

"Dean what the fuck are you doing!?" Castiel yelled, sitting up straight now and starring over at the other. 

"I need to see if something's blocking the brakes-" He explained quickly as he pulled on the emergency brake and nothing happened. Now Dean looked really panicked as he returned both hands to the wheel. "It's going to be find, if we just keep this pace we'll slowly come to a stop and-"

"This is why you shouldn't buy old cars!" Castiel blurts, the fear was slowly getting to him. Usually he can keep himself calm if Dean's calm, but when Dean is worried about a CAR no less, it does not reassure him.

"Or you don't take them out on long road trips!" He retorts, just as frustrated but trying to keep it together. The car only started to get faster and faster, and Dean couldn't do anything to stop it. his knuckles now turned white and purple from the sheer need to keep them on the winding road.

Castiel's breathing started to pick up as the thoughts of crashing came piercing at his skull. If they did crash, who knows were the nearest gas station was, who knows if any phone's would work all the way out here. Castiel has never been in a car crash before or really in any situation were he could get massively hurt. The fear was probably worst than actual crash could be, right? He let's out a shaky breath while managing to put his eyes on the road. "DEAN!" He screamed. The man from before was standing in the middle of the road. In a second there was a quick jerk of the car and everything went black.

...

~~_**DISTANT SCREAMS** _ ~~

...

Castiel's eyes slowly blink open, vision blurry and unfocused. The loud high frequency ring, buzzing in his ears as he finally came to. "Shit..." he groaned, his hand gently touching his forehead as his head began to pound. Carefully he pulled it away and looked down, blood. He blinks a couple more times before looking up. His side of the car looked unscathed, just some scratches and a broken window. He probably had a concussion at worst and some blood from broken glass, but that should be it. "Dean... you okay?" He asked before looking over, but his eyes went wide. He wasn't there. Then he noticed the front glass was broken with blood dripping off of any remaining pieces. Castiel didn't even need to think before he got out of the car, his body stumbling as it tried to regain balance. His eyes darted before finally finding Dean, his body propped up against a tree and, "Hey! Get away from him!" Castiel yelled.

The same suited man from before was standing over Dean's body, a hand gripping the unconscious man's neck and the other ripping off the prized necklace. Castiel came over quickly, the stumbling now gone as he yelled. The suited man only turned over, his eyes glazed black but at this very moment Castiel wasn't afraid. "We'll meet again, Winchester and Novak." The man let go of Dean and like a magician, simply disappeared. 

Castiel paused for a brief moment, but soon was in a full sprint as he knelt down in front of Dean. "Dean! Dean look at me, wake up- wake up." He panted, his hand's grabbing the sides of the other's shoulders and shaking him. Eyes wide, he can worry about whatever that man was later, right now he needed to fix the other. The most immediate injury that he noticed, was the blood coming from Dean's mouth and a a deep bruise where the man's hand had been. The shaking seemed to do the trick, because Dean's eyes opened slightly but he looked to be in a heavy daze. Castiel noticed his eyes seemed to wonder, but he gently took the other's face into his hands. "Look at me, okay? Just look at me, I'm going to call someone to help us. Can you stay awake until I come back over?" He gave his normal pointed stare at Dean, he knew it would get a reaction even if the other was this out of it. Dean eventually nodded yes, and he seemed to slowly gaining more of his senses. That was all Castiel needed before standing up and rushing back over to the car, he searched every holder and console and finding his phone. Thank god he had enough bars to call 911.

"911 What's your Emergency?"

"Hey! My partner and I got into a crash, we're on road Blue Castle and maybe three miles down the road from a turn point. You got to get here quick, he seems really hurt." Castiel stated, once he was sure the phone would keep a connection, he rushed back over to Dean and knelt beside him. Dean didn't look too badly hurt from this side, but he knew that could be either a good or bad thing. 

"Okay sir, I'm sending out an ambulance and an officer to your location. What is your name and your partner's name?"

"My name is Castiel Novak, and his name is Dean Winchester." How his voice remained calm was a mystery to anyone involved.

Dean made a soft groaning noise, his eye's barely staying open. "S-Son of a bitch... is Baby o-okay?" He finally gruffed out, his voice sounding husky and forced.

This caught Castiel off guard and he quickly turned his attention back to Dean, holding the other's neck reassuringly as well as making sure he stayed awake. He remember reading somewhere that you need to keep someone's head up after an accident so they could remain conscious, but he could be getting that article wrong. Castiel gave a worried chuckle, even when the other is seriously injured, he has time to worry about the car. "Baby is going to need to spend some time with a mechanic." He said simply, hoping Dean wouldn't freak out.

Dean gave a harsh grunt as he moved slightly, he even bit down on his bottom lip to try and hide his discomfort and pain. "Am... am I in... i-in a puddle? M-my back feels... feels wet." He mumbled out, now he was fully awake and conscious. Yet, his throat hurt and so did his back. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

Castiel's expression intensified at the question, he gently grabbed Dean by the arms and moved him over slightly, causing a harsh shout to escape the man's mouth. "Sorry!" Castiel said quick but his eyes were as large as saucers. Three large gashes shred throughout Dean's back, no way of salvaging that flannel, they seemed to be running too deep- because the blood was pooling quickly and soaking the tree as well as the grass beneath him. He put Dean back into his spout, another long line of curse words escaped Dean's lips. "Yeah- yeah it's just a small puddle." He lied, Dean didn't have to know right now. Dean gave a soft chuckle, his head feeling light and not knowing it was from the blood lost. His eyes began to close slightly, but Castiel shook him awake. "Hey, don't you be going out on me. Stay awake till the ambulance gets here." 

Dean chuckles slightly and put his hand against the others arm, his body felt really heavy at the moment. "Yeah, Yeah, whatever." He said before pausing, his hand left the others arm as he felt his chest. "Where is it?" He says before trying to force himself to sit up more.

"No! No Dean, stay in your spot!"

He gave another harsh grunt as a wave of pain surged through him, but he noticed his legs didn't move an inch. That wasn't his concern right now, he looked down at himself and around the grass, "Where did it go-" He repeats, "My necklace, it's-it's gone-" Dean repeats while Castiel forced the others arms down. 

"Stop! If you keep moving I will force you to stay down, got it?" Castiel says in a rather serious tone, and thankfully he can hear the ambulance coming even though it sounded like it was a few minutes out.

"Cass, I need to find my necklace-"

"And once you're in the ambulance I'll find it, I promise." He knew that was a lie, he saw that man take it and he had no idea how he could get it back, also he's never seen a necklace like it so it's not like he could just buy a replica and Dean wouldn't notice it. 

It took a couple minutes later for the police to finally arrive with the ambulance, they did the best work that they could in being able to get Dean into the car and extract a statement from Castiel who had finally let the horrors of their situation set in and he was shaking. The gashes on the others back were not superficial so there was going to be some problems there, maybe he'll just need to be in a cast for a week or something like that for a little while. From a distance, he watched the ambulance drive off with Dean and left him behind. The standard procedure. In movies and shows people would always watch as a family member would be allowed to ride with them, realistically that cannot be possible due to emotions being high and if anything goes wrong then they would need to take care of two patients and not one. He would need to catch a ride to the hospital with an officer because Baby was in no condition to drive. As he finished up his statement, he paused and realized something. The hospital wasn't going to know about Dean's rehab. They are most likely going to give him pain killers... oh shit would Dean be able to handle that? What if he isn't? He can't have five years of being clean go down over a car accident. Please be strong Dean.... Please be strong. 


	4. The Obsession of Confirmation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took awhile to write! I'm thinking about the next chapter of introducing the concept of the supernatural and that this person is a demon. I think maybe I should have bobby already be a hunter so he can teach Castiel some of this stuff, but I'm not 100% sure yet on if that's a good call or not.

The fear of objection, rejection, and silence is characterized from a traumatic state. Most would enjoy the silence so they would not have to worry about the outside world and have time time and peace to themselves. Other's fear the silence, but not because the sound can be deafening, but because their minds and thoughts become amplified. A thought that one might have been trying to suppress comes to light. A memory may fill one's senses and fill with a massive amount of dread. Rejections and objection follows the same fold. To be rejected from someone that one may trust, or to have one's thoughts rejected from someone who is valued with a higher position can crush someone. To be rejected feels as if one is insignificant, that they do not have a position on a matter that they may truly enjoy. Objection manifests itself in a rather similar manner. Objection can point out inconsistent details or make one question the events or ideals that one might have had. To have someone go against something that one knows is the truth, it can make someone come mad. Fear to speak again. Or possibly worry that other's will never accept their truth and believe that they are going mad. The idea that no one would believe, is worst than keeping it to one's self.

Castiel knew he needed to get to the hospital, there wasn't an easy way for him to know if the EMT's or if the hospital had given or will give Dean pain killers. Of course he trusted the medical system, just as much as anyone else would. Yet, he knew Dean. Dean never liked hospitals. Dean would rather suffer in the middle of the forest than to trust medical advise or to willingly let someone say that something was wrong with him. Maybe it was for the expensive cost of hospital trips in America, or maybe he did not want to be treated as if he was less than those working on him. Or, perhaps it was that his own father would never take him to the hospital whenever he was sick so he never understood the dependence some people may have. Castiel knew it might be every example listed, but the worst thought was the idea of what Dean might do if he was given pain killers. Yes, the addiction may happen again. However, Dean would not want to have the medication. He was strong, and if he didn't want something from a stranger, he would not take it. A small part of Castiel worried that Dean would rip out his IV or drip line if he found out they put some sort of numbing or pain agent inside of the liquid.

An officer was speaking with Cass while other cars pulled up to assess the damage and call a tow truck to take the broken Impala to any local junk yard they could find, or to a mechanic to help fix it if Castiel was willing to pay for the transfer. Which he was, if that car was taking to a junk yard Dean would probably destroy him the moment he found out. "So, you're saying you saw a man in the middle of the road and that is what caused the crash?" The man asked.

"Sort of-" Castiel objected, "-before the man was in the road, the car started to speed up and the brakes just suddenly stopped working. I believe Dean crashed the car to avoid hitting the person, but I don't really remember. It's all blocked out really."

He had to confess that, he knew that Dean would avoid hitting another person who was in the road. That's the type of person he is. He would always do anything to protect others and save as many people as possible. However, there was enough room on the road for Dean to not crash the car. The car was very special to the other, so he would've also done anything to not make it crash. Especially not that significantly. 

The officer finished what he was writing down on his police report, then looked up at Castiel. "Well, is it possible that your _friend_ there would've crashed the car on purpose?"

Castiel did not enjoy the way the officer said that sentence, it felt a bit strained. "What are you implying, officer?" He asked, arms folded.

"It's possible he simply crashed the car to avoid any unlucky spots that might have caused a far worst incident." He shrugs, putting his report away. "Also, if there was someone here, I would believe they would have stayed around or at least waited to seek their own medical attention."

"You don't believe me." That wasn't a question. A statement.

"Listen, when people go through traumatic experiences, their minds make up a lot of what they are seeing. It's possible you could have just hallucinated a person into existence to help justify it."

Castiel's eyes furrowed, now he was starting to understand why Dean also did not like the authority figures. To him, he's always lived in towns where the locals knew everyone and that included the police force. When he went off to college, he never ran into or needed the police. Moving in with Dean and their homes that they have had together, the locals and the police force greeted them with open arms and acceptance. However, they are currently an hour outside of their home so these officers didn't know them. They were considered outsiders. "I know what I saw. I described him to you. Do what you need with that information and get me someone to take me to the hospital so I can see my partner."

The officer nodded and walked over to the other officers there. Castiel tried to listen in on whatever their conversation was, but right now he just wanted to get to Dean and call friends and family to tell them what happened. Yet, he knew Dean wouldn't want them to visit... unless they were going to bring pie.

The next thirty minutes became a bit of a blur, he couldn't even remember getting into the back of a police cruiser and calling a couple of his friends and what family that they were still in contact with to let them know about what had happened. The first one he did remember to call was his sister Anna, they were driving up to see her in the first place so it would only make sense. She mumbled how she was going to bring the pie she already had made for when they would have gotten there, and that she would be driving down as quickly as possible. He didn't contact any of Dean's biological family, mainly for the reason that they were either dead or they were John Winchester and no one wanted him there. He did call one of Dean's family friend's. Bobby Singer. Castiel didn't know much about Bobby, just that he had a great relationship with Sam and Dean. Dean would say that Bobby was like an adoptive father to him. He'd go visit occasionally, but most of the time Castiel would stay behind because Bobby was always gone travelling and hunting deer. Something that Bobby used to do quite often with Sam, but Dean was never interested in hunting. More of a car kind of guy, if that was not obvious already. When Castiel did call him, Bobby said it would take him a few hours to come up due to how long of a drive it would be from his home. Bobby lived in Kansas, same neighborhood as the Winchester's. It was a good four to five hour drive to the hospital.

Eventually one of the officer's dropped Castiel in front of the hospital were the ER was located and he went right inside. He knew he needed to remain calm, and that Dean was probably alright and just getting stitched up. He went over to the front counter, explained who he was, and asked if Dean was alright. The lady at the desk smiled and explained that Dean was actually in surgery, because some of the wounds that he sustained could have become lethal if he had moved anymore than he had. Yet, still had a high chance of bleeding out. He should be out within the next hour and Castiel just needed to wait until then. Cass thanked the woman and sat down to wait. The waiting room was not a fun place to wait. It was quiet. Those who weren't quiet were either loved ones grieving or children who did not understand the situation that they were in. Silence to him was always a blessing. To think freely and not have anything to disturb ones thoughts was enjoyable. When reading a good book, the images that come with the words on the page would stick and the voices would come to life. But right now, the silence was having an adverse affect. The peaceful silence now replaced with his own thoughts. Thoughts of guilt, if he had not told Dean that they needed to go to his sisters house, if he had not told Dean that they needed to drive the Impala, and if he had not told Dean that they needed to pull over then none of this would have happened. Maybe if they had driven the other car, then maybe if they had crashed- the damage would not have been so severe. If Dean was conscious, what would he say to him? Would he be angry and yell at him? Would he give a disappointed sigh? Or would he just do as he normally did, not even acknowledge what had happened and make jokes and act like everything is fine? Honestly, Castiel didn't care which one it was, but he really hoped it would not be the last one. Yes, it is Dean's little trademark of his personality. However, it was very self-destructive behavior and something that Dean really hasn't even acknowledge that he does. The guilt of knowing that this all could have been prevent wore Castiel down to a point that he was folded up on his own chair. He didn't want anyone to pity him or Dean, but he did want someone there. For right now, he didn't. All he had was himself.

Castiel looked up eventually when he heard his name being called, right as he was getting into his feeling there was his sister. It's been awhile since he's seen her, but she did look pretty much the same. Her hair was red, all natural but some would think it was dyed. Slender figure, but still tall. Honestly, she was probably a little taller than Castiel. He was younger so the height difference would be understandable. She came over and helped him off of the chair, and they hugged. It wasn't a long one since Anna didn't really like to give hugs, but she knew that her brother needed it at the moment so she was willing to provide. 

She took a step back and looked at him. "You know, you could have asked for me to have brought you some fresh clothes. Just because you were in an accident, doesn't mean you should look like you were."

He gave a faint chuckle, but nodded in agreement. "Yes, I suppose I could've asked that. My mind was somewhere else. Thank you for coming, it truly means a lot to me." Castiel sits back down and Anna looked around for a moment, found an unoccupied chair, and pulled it over to where Cass was an sat down. "I really hope it's not as bad as I think it was..."

Anna nodded leaning back against her chair as if in thought. "Well, as long as he's alive that's all that really matters. You two have been to heaven, to hell, and back. I'm pretty sure that you both will make it out of this fine."

"God I hope so."

"Speaking of God..." Anna started, but even the comment made Castiel glare at her. "Dad started preaching again. He wanted you to come to one of the lessons when you where coming up. Obviously you two won't be, but I thought to warn you before he calls you up."

Everyone in Castiel's family knew that he was gay for a long time, he came out at pansexual while in school. He didn't want to deal with the fall out from coming out as gay when he could just say he's attracted to everyone so it didn't really matter. When he first went to school, he really had strong intentions to date a girl first so his dad would think he actually was attracted to that sex. That was before he met Dean. He's introduced Dean. Everyone was accepting, but his dad never said anything about it. Didn't even talk to Dean during the whole trip so he knew that his father was not accepting of this. Cannot fight with family, so he lets it slide. Now he wants him to go to church? "Thank you for the warning Anna." He thanked her as he started to chew and bite on his bottom lip. "If he really thought that would work..."

She gave a sigh, "I know... we all know he is just a bit of traditionalist when it comes to these sorts of things. I think it's because Dean called them recently and it just encouraged him to try something else. Hell, he came out of retirement just to preach again for you."

Castiel looked over, a confused expression on his face. "Why would Dean call mom and dad?"

Anna's eyes widened, giving a slight nervous giggle as she rubbed the back of her neck. "That was supposed to be a secret apparently. I guess the cats out of the bad... but Dean asked mom and dad permission to ask you to marry him. I'm awful with secrets so if he does propose... just act like I didn't tell you."

He smirked faintly and chuckled, raising up his left hand and showing the ring he had gotten. It was simple, just like Dean. It looked to be made of wood that was incased in a clear and shiny coating that made it look beautiful. It even had their initials carved on the inside of it. He never asked about who made it or how much it had cost, because that sort of thing didn't really matter. Castiel was much more of a sentimental type of person when it came to things like this. "He already did." 

Before the sister could respond, the woman at the desk called him over so he went. She said that Dean was out of surgery and was most likely asleep so he needed to not be too loud. Then she told him only one person could go back at the moment and the room number. 

Castiel thanked her, told Anna, and then was escorted back to the room by a nurse. The hospital was rather cautious about patients and family members walking by themselves throughout the hospital due to it's size and there have been times where patients or visitors would leave and be found smuggling medicine or found to be passed out in the storage closet. It was nerve racking to him, it felt like he was being treated as a sort of criminal, but right now all he could worry about was Dean. He hoped that Dean would be awake, and he hoped the crash just left some really bad scuffs and bruises and that nothing else was wrong. Deep down, however, he knew that was most likely not the case. Uncertainties filled him mind, the fear was more paralyzing than actually seeing his partner in bed. It was a typical bed in a private room, a couple machines to track blood pressure, heart rate, and stuff like that. There was also a machine that he couldn't tell what it was used for, but it looked to be turned off for the moment. Then Castiel saw the IV drip. Castiel did not know a lot about hospitals, but he did watch shows and knew that in those videos the IV drip helped with hydration and to help administered pain killers in liquid form. Then, he actually saw Dean. Now he was all cleaned up, no blood of dirt was present but there was quite a few bruises. His lip looked busted as well as his brow. Castiel couldn't stop looking at the bruises, however. They where all over his throat, cheeks, and arms. The car must've really jostled him around in the collision. Thankfully, Dean seemed to still be asleep. He thanked the nurse that escorted him and sat down in a chair that was beside the bed. 

He never thought he'd ever see Dean in this position. If he ever was broken and beat up, Castiel knew he would just come home like nothing happened and pass out in bed for a few days until he got better. He never would have picked to be taken to the hospital. So seeing him there actually in a hospital bed with these injuries? It made the guilt increase. When Dean woke up, what would he remember? What would he say? Would he even speak at all, or would he be too tired to make out any words? Would he wake up and just not open his eyes so he didn't have to see Castiel? Castiel had a long time to himself, just sitting there and watching Dean breathe in and out. The constant noise of beeping in the background was the only thing to distract from this silence. Eventually, Castiel hung his head and closed his eyes for a few moments, the adrenaline had gone away at this point from the whole crash and his body just felt rather achy and exhausted from the days events that he just needed a second to collect his thoughts.

It was longer than a few moments though, because when he finally looked back up he saw Dean was fully awake and just watching the other. "Morning, sleeping beauty." The other winks.

Castiel didn't acknowledge it though, his first thought was to grab Dean's hand and smile that the other was awake, "Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked.

"Fine, actually." Dean chuckled, leaning back against his bed. He found the remote early that was attached to the bed to raise the top so he was in a fowlers position, he would've just sat up normally but he found to be having trouble sitting up by himself for some reason. His eyes looked slightly red, and a lot more relaxed than he had seemed for awhile.

This made Castiel a bit worried, because Dean would not be this comfortable in a hospital. "Really?" He asked.

Dean nodded, but paused for a moment when he suddenly felt groggy. He gave off a random noise that seemed to be a mix of a groan and a moan. "I feel hungover, actually."

'Probably the pain killers.' Castiel thought.

"Hey, where you able to find my necklace?" Dean asked, that was the first thing he wanted to ask the other, but he knew that he needed to wait. 

Castiel looked up and bit his bottom lip, "No, I couldn't." It wasn't a lie, he knew who had it but not where it was. "The police were still at the crash sight when I looked around, but I didn't see anything. Sorry, Deano."

Dean shrugged, "That's fine. When I'm out of here in a few hours we can go out and look for it."

"Dean, you just had surgery. They probably won't let you leave for a couple of days to make sure there wasn't any complications. At least that's what medical drama's do, so I'm not too sure what the case will be for you."

The two continued to talk for awhile, maybe an hour or so about random yet relevant things. How much to fix the car would be (even though Dean was sure he could do it for less), how Anna and Bobby where the main people he was looking forward to see in the hospital, if he would even be allowed to eat the pie that she made in said hospital, and how they should just celebrate their engagement at home their own way. Which mainly meant watching Netflix and cuddling on the couch for hours on end. The bar was still covered for the week, so they didn't need to worry about that thankfully. They probably shouldn't go back up to Anna's for the week. As stated before, Dean did have surgery and traveling probably wouldn't be the best idea. When the doctor comes in they would probably discuss all the rules he'd have to follow and traveling would probably fall into that section. While they spoke, a nurse came in and explained who she was and that she was a training nurse doing rounds. She explained that she needed to do a basic follow up and check for range of motion and other things briefly. Dean told he to go ahead and continued to talk. When the nurse got down to the Dean's legs, he stopped her. "Hey, am I on pain killers?" He asked.

The nurse looked up at him and nodded, "Yes, Sir. Would you like me to get a senior nurse to increase the dose?" She asked. "Was the movement hurting your legs sir?" She asked.

Dean shook his head, "No, actually I don't want any pain medicine. Also you must be already giving me too much as it is, because I can't even feel my legs." He explained. 

"Does the medicine have a numbing agent?" Castiel asked.

The nurse began to look uncomfortable, looking to be at a lost of words. Dean looked annoyed, but Castiel was more focused on how the nurse was reacting. He always had the ability to see peoples real emotions and it looked like she was debating on tell them something or that she was worried herself. "I'll be right back, sir." The young nurse mumbled before rushing off. 

Once she was gone, Dean took matters into his own hands and started to remove the IV drip and Castiel grabbed his hand. "What are you doing?" He asked seriously.

"She didn't say anything about my pain killers, and I know pain killers go through IV so I'm making sure I don't have any pain killers." He said simply, then tries to remove it again, but Castiel did his look. Dean hated the look, and it was enough to get him to stop.

A moment later, a nurse who looked to be closer to Dean and Cass's age walked in with a clipboard. "Hello Sir, My name is Nurse Stephanie and this is one of my students. She told me that you are refusing medical treatment. Is this correct?"

Dean gave a confused look, "No, I'm not refusing treatment. I just don't want any painkillers." He reiterates. 

"May I ask why?" The head nurse asks.

"No, you don't. That's my personal business, I don't want any pain killers." 

"Alright, sir." She says and hands a clipboard over to Dean with a pen. "Here's a contract that says you don't want any painkillers, the hospital does not want to be held liable. Once it's all filled out we will cease this treatment. The doctor will be in shortly to discuss treatment plans for your condition."

Castiel now spoke, a curious expression on his face. "Treatment plans for his condition? Is he going to need therapy or something? He looks fine."

The nurse didn't respond, she only went over and replaced the IV drip with the medicine to a normal IV drip. Dean handed her the clipboard and the two of the nurses left. Dean looked to Castiel and he just shrugged. "I know this is a teaching hospital, but that didn't feel like a lot of teaching to me." Castiel nodded in agreement before standing up and pacing around the small hospital room. He didn't like how he was avoiding their questions.

Thankfully a doctor was in there only a few minutes later, he had a serious face to him and behind him where other doctors. Most likely interns. Now Dean was getting even more uncomfortable. Hated Hospitals and doctors, now he has five of them staring at him. Castiel noticed the discomfort and looked to the doctor who was wearing a slightly different outfit than the other ones. "I understand this is a teaching hospital, but do you have to have so many in here?" He asked.

The doctor actually gave a direct answer, stating that the interns would only provide care if needed, but for now they just needed to learn bedside manner and were only meant to observe and not be invasive. Castiel looked to Dean to see if he was alright with that, and Dean nodded so they let the doctor and their interns proceed. The main doctor asked an intern to read the chart about the patient. The intern nodded and explained the basics, such as the patient being Dean Winchester and a man, came in after a car crash and had a surgery and now this was a follow up. The intern also went on to explain how there hasn't been a record for Dean Winchester for about ten years to this point and suggested to get a medical history during this time frame. The doctor nodded to her before speaking to Dean directly. "Okay Mr. Winchester, I'm going to ask a few questions and I would like you to follow this light to check for any neurological damage." Dean sighed and agreed, the heart rate monitor picked up a bit, probably because of the annoyance Dean was feeling at that moment. "Do you remember what your name is and how old you are?"

Dean rolled his eyes, but kept following the light. "Well Chuckles over there already said that information, you going deaf doc?"

A couple of the interns chuckled, while the one who spoke earlier looked to have blushed. "Dean." Castiel reprimanded. 

Dean sighed and shrugged. "Yeah, names Dean."

"What was the last thing you remember, do you remember the crash?" The doctor asks, putting away the light.

Dean sat back and thought for awhile, tapping his fingers against the bed rail to think. "We where driving down a backroad, and Castiel looked a little pale so we decided to stop and stretch our legs. The car seemed to pick up space and then there was a guy in the middle of the road. I swerved out of the way, trying to go left to not crash the car, but it went to the right." He shrugged. "I woke up on the ground, saw that Cass was still was in the car and went to help him out, but the man who was there shoved me away. He fought for a little, but he managed to throw me against a nearby tree and slashed my back. It fucking hurt, but I passed out. I woke up only a little bit later when Castiel was over me and told me to stay still and not find my necklace that must've been ripped off."

Castiel looked up at Dean once he said that, so he wasn't the only one who saw the man. They hadn't even spoken about the crash so that little bit of confirmation cooled his nerves incredibly and he couldn't thank Dean enough about this. However, he had no clue that Dean actually fought the person. The would explain the bruises that appeared in random places, but he couldn't think of a reason why the man would fight with Dean. Maybe because they might've crashed into him? Then how would that man had known there names...? Also the eyes... did Dean see the eyes too?

The doctor nodded and turned back to the interns. "Now, what do we do with this information?"

A couple of the interns stayed silent while one raised their hand, and before being called on spoke. "Check to see if there is a missing John Doe at the crash that we missed."

After that call, another intern spoke up. "Contact local police for possible assault charges."

"Those are excellent answers." The doctor stated, "However, at this point we know the police have already checked the sight and that Mr. Winchester has been in an accident. Multiple lacerations and the paralysis could only have been caused with extreme force of a crash, not from a man being thrown against a tree. The likely cause of this memory is from trauma."

Dean looked to Castiel. "Paralysis?" He looked back to the doctor. "What are you talking about?" His voice became gruff, he usually does that right before he goes into a shouting spree.

The interns look to the doctor who looked like he messed up, and turned back to Dean. "I apologize Mr. Winchester, I was lead to believe you already knew from the nurses. The crash has enough force, that when you hit the tree, it ruptured your spinal cord. The likelihood of you being able to walk again is greater than most, however you will most likely needs months if not years of physical therapy."

Castiel forced himself to sit down, a wave of emotions falling on him at once. But Dean, he was ready for war. "Alright teach, for a lesson on beside manners you get an F." He now used the rails to help him sit forward. "And fuck you, like it or not I will walk again and I will walk right out of this damn hospital. So you can tell Curly, Larry, and Moe out of here and teach them something that won't make the man in the hospital bed hunt you down a pair of scissors." He shouts, if looks could kill, the doctor would've died right there. "Don't you dare ever tell me I won't be able to walk again." The interns and doctor looked scared and surprised by Dean's outburst, and one of the interns actually ran out of the room the moment the other started to yell. Slowly but surely all of the interns left as well as the doctor and Dean was left with only Castiel in the room who looked to have missed the outbursts because he was in the same position he was in before the yelling started. "This is why I hate doctors, they know nothing."

Castiel looked up at him, almost shaking at this point. He didn't know why, he wasn't the one who was now paralyzed. Yet, he was able to grasp this concept more than Dean was. Their whole lives are going to be uprooted and changed from this. He should've listened to his gut when he knew something bad was going to happen. He didn't think it would get this bad though. "Dean... they went to school for years, I think they know what they are talking about."

Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Doctors rely too much on numbers and probability. If they had a choice to save someone who had a sixty seven percent chance of living, or someone with a twenty percent chance of living? They'd go to the sixty seven because his odds are higher, when I'd go to the twenty chancer because he needs more help." Dean folded his arms, looking out at the doorway to their room in utter disgust. 

"Don't worry, don't listen to what they say. You'll walk again, but we don't know when that would be." Castiel said softly, wanting to ease the growing tension in the room.

"Oh, I know I will. But what the fuck is wrong with him? You walk into a room with a couple who seems to be having a good time, brings in a couple of kids, and then tells them that they're wrong by mildly mentioning a life changing problem without talking to the patients first. This is bullshit."

Castiel grabbed his hand, "Dean, you're getting worked up. Just take a deep breath, yes he went about this wrong. But that is okay. We know now and we will work through it."

Dean shook his head, but didn't say anything. 

The pair stayed in silence for a long time, both just trying to gather their thoughts and figure out where to go from here. There will be needs for physical therapy, so Castiel would need to try and provide a away for space for the therapist to come over. His work schedule is still rather hectic so he wouldn't be able to drive Dean to appointments. The bottom level of the house would need to be change as well so there would be room for a wheel chair. Also the bedroom would need to be relocated to the bottom level and all the stuff in Dean's office would need to be moved downstairs. Probably would also need to get a ramp up to the house for the wheelchair. Dean wasn't thinking of the practicalities of living, though. He was thinking more of how he could make sure he'd spend as little of time in a chair as possible. The main thought on his mind was being able to stand at the end of an isle waiting for Castiel to walk up to him. They barely got engaged, but that was all he could think about. He also thought about the bar, the bar would be difficult to run in a chair. He'd probably would need to hire another manager or some more staff to be able to have it more functional. Also, he works a different schedule than Castiel does- so how would he be able get to the bar without help? The past hour has been filled with bad news, that they didn't even have time to discuss the accident.

Yet, now that was all Castiel could think about. Dean saw what he saw, but something about the eyes just made everything feel off. Weird. He knows something happened, but just didn't know what.


	5. The Beauty of Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't write another chapter last week! I had mid-terms and also I wanted to catch up on more SPN. I just finished season 6 so I'm excited to start season 7 this week.

Denial is a rather powerful tool. It can be used to deceive oneself into compliance and to avoid a terrible truth that one might not want to face head on. However, denial is a tricky game to get into. It can be something small to start, an example would be avoiding the fact that one was told to lie, but tricked themselves to believe it was the truth. A more dangerous example, would be avoiding every single piece of evidence that cannot be disproven, yet still believing the lie that was told to oneself. The most common form of denial begins with grief, denying the fact that a love one was killed, a lover leaving for another, or the lost of motor function from an accident that was not someone's fault, knowing that the world that was supposed to be deemed safe- is really the most dangerous place out there. It's like a drug. It protects, but it also injures. 

It was the next day in the hospital, most of everyone that had come to see Dean gave condolences as well as offering to help wherever they could. Some of the conversations felt genuine on all accords, while others felt like they came from a script in a high school run production with first time actors. It was all appreciated, however. The people who did come where mainly from the town that they were living in, some friends and coworkers, random people who they pass on the street, as well as the local police who offered them a lot of advice on how to avoid crashes in the future just for the fun of it. There were laughs, which helped make the hospital visit a little more pleasant. Dean encouraged anyone who came by to make jokes, to laugh, to make fun of the whole ordeal. He didn't enjoy getting the apologies and speeches about how it was all going to get better. He wanted the trip to be over with so he could go home and get to work. To get his legs to work. 

Castiel stayed quiet through most of the conversations, he wasn't hurt nearly as bad as Dean so most of the people who came didn't need to check on him. He simply stayed in the room, cuddling with Dean in his hospital bed, and making sure that Dean didn't try to leave the bed or fight any nurses or doctors who came in. It was honestly harder than what he had been expecting. When the conversations subsided, and people left the room, Dean and Cass would mostly sit in silence and just sit. The silence was not comforting for Castiel, even though it was for Dean. The only thing that made it tolerable was listening to Dean's heartbeat and breathing. Seeing Dean look all broken and bloodied really left an impression on him. When there wasn't silence, he and Dean spoke about adjustments that they needed to make, although Dean wouldn't truly agree with most of the statements being thrown around. He did relent eventually and started to look at this accident from a long run perspective. They knew they would need to adjust the house, bedroom on the main floor, move furniture around so there would be room for the wheelchair and any at home equipment the physical therapist assigned, and finally...

"No fucking way, I'm not putting in a ramp." Dean protested.

Castiel sighed, "Dean-"

"No, Cass. I'd rather kill myself then put a ramp in the front of my house to get inside."

"But Dean! Every time you go down those steps, you will either fall or you would need to have someone to bring you down the steps when you want to leave the house." He sighed, holding the other's hand tightly. "I'm not always going to be home to bring you in or outside."

"Then I'll just stay inside or outside until you come back home." Dean said simply.

Castiel sighed, he knew bringing this topic would be difficult to bring up. However, it was a conversation that was needed to be done. "Think of it this way-" He began. "-we are going to live in this house for the rest of our lives, right? In the future, maybe fifty years or something, we will need to be in a wheelchair or something like that anyway. Might as well have it now while we kind of needed it and not worry about the expense later in life, right?"

Dean was going to comment, but Bobby ended up walking into the room and cutting the conversation short. One was happy about it, and the other was not. Bobby had to wait till the next day to come up and he had visited earlier, but guessed that maybe he should come back in anyway. They spoke for a little while, just catching up and including him in on the subject that the house was going to need to be fixed up for the time being. Bobby volunteered himself to help Castiel move the house and furniture around while Dean was in the hospital for that day. Castiel didn't want to leave Dean alone, especially after how he treated those interning doctors. However, Dean convinced him he would be fine on his own for a little while and that he wanted to get some actual food in his body anyways. He would just hang out and watch TV, maybe convince a nurse to get him a burger from the cafeteria. Granted- Dean did NOT like the food that would be served at a hospital, but he would kill for a meaty sandwich. He also reminded Castiel that he was still in the same clothes from the accident and he hadn't showered for awhile. Going home to readjust everything would be a good excuse to get him freshened up anyway.

Castiel remembered looking down at himself, and remembered exactly what Dean was talking about. He really should go and shower and just rest up maybe. So, just like that, Bobby got Castiel into his car and they started the drive. The car ride was rather awkward, Castiel had never been left in a room alone with Bobby before, let alone stuck in the car for an hour or so. Had they ever had a conversation together without Dean? Castiel didn't know much about Bobby. He didn't even know how Dean knew Mr. Singer, so maybe later on he can use that as an excuse for why they hadn't spoken before now. The most that he knew, was that Dean saw this man as a father figure, so did Sam. Sam and him would go hunting, but Dean never enjoyed the idea so he never attended a hunting trip. Castiel did remember the other's home, however. The classic workshop for a hunter. There was guns, blades, antlers on the walls, and the whole place had a southern and wooden feel about the place. Also he owned a junkyard and mechanic business. There where a lot of old looking cars that seemed to sit in his lot for years on end, at least that's what it appeared to be. 

Even with all of that, Castiel thought that maybe he would car for his car a little more. Maybe the idea of being a mechanic and junkyard would encourage Bobby to have the best looking car around. 

He was wrong.

The car seemed to be a mix of different parts. He couldn't even tell what type, make, or model the car was supposed to be. Four different doors, all different colors. The rust seemed to be built on, and there was caked on mud and dirt on all sides of the vehicle. It was such a difference from what he was used to, it actually took him off guard when he got inside the car. The inside of the vehicle was much more pleasant. It was clean on the inside and the seats were made of cotton, not leather like he was used to, but it was better than what he was expecting. Ironically enough, Castiel was thinking about how the little details he was noticing about the car. Dean must have rubbed off on him over the years.

Once they got to the house, Bobby followed Castiel up to the house and waited for him to unlock the door. Castiel held the door open for Bobby and they both looked at each other a sighed. Knowing that the day was going to be a long one, and hopefully Dean wouldn't need them. 

The house was not built for a wheelchair. The furniture was positioned to face the TV and the coffee table was right up against it, the rug and tiles would probably mess up the directionality of the wheels, the kitchen had enough room for two people to stand between each other- yet not enough room to actively use a wheelchair. If Dean ever wanted coffee, and to make it himself, it would take him minutes to simply switch the way the chair was facing. Most of the things that Dean did on a daily bases was upstairs. The bedroom, office, bathroom, all of that was upstairs. Down here he only had access to a garage where he loved to tend to his '67 Impala. Thankfully, they did have a small library built on the bottom floor, so they could move all the books and chairs up to the bedroom, and make that room the bedroom. There was a small guest bathroom so it should work for Dean. If push came to shove, Castiel could probably find a way to have Dean go upstairs to the master bathroom. All he knew, and so did Bobby, this was going to take all of today and probably the next day as well. This wasn't a small house.

The two men got to work. Bobby did most of the heavy lifting while Castiel took more of the handheld things and moved them to rooms that would seem better fit and he also tried to figure out how to make the layout of the house better. The routine that Castiel and Dean followed everyday was pretty strict, never really wavering, but now he knew it would need to be more fluid with appointments and just to deal with emotional circumstances that cannot be avoided at any cost. He knew this was going to change their lives, he just hoped they won't start at ground zero, yet again. They also would need to figure out how to work with the bar. Dean couldn't possibly continue to run it in his condition, but Castiel couldn't help but think that they would need to sell it. It was Dean's dream, his baby, but realistically there wasn't a way to keep it. Medical treatment will cost the business, and Castiel couldn't possibly stay around all the time with his job. Maybe if they made Dean's friend Pamela a co-owner? But she now has her own diner so she probably couldn't take that responsibility on. Dean would fight tooth and nail to keep his bar, he would even sell the impala if he needed to. Castiel was usually more logical than Dean, Dean felt with his emotions and his desires, even if he never expresses them. Castiel always knew how Dean felt somehow, even when he didn't speak. However- sometimes that was a curse. He didn't know if he could convince Dean to sell- and even if he was able to- Dean would be destroyed either way. God damnit this was going to be difficult....

"You should rest." 

Castiel snapped out of his thoughts, having been staring a picture of Cass/Dean/Sam back when Sam graduated that was on the fireplace mantel and looked back to see where the sound came from. Bobby was currently in the process of moving the coffee table from the living room out to a new room. "I am fine." He said simply.

Bobby sighed and put the table down. "Look Boy, I know that you haven't had anytime to let yourself stop and think about what happened. You haven't even showered. Go wash up, and rest for a bit."

"Bobby, we have stuff to do."

"So?"

Castiel paused for a moment and rubbed the back of his neck, why did Dean's side of the family always act like this? They always had this tone that was sort of commanding, even when it wasn't a command it always came across that way. "Okay, fine. Can you go and get us something to eat while I take a shower and rest? I don't want you to be working while I'm just laying about."

"Yeah, no problem." Bobby left soon after the agreement.

Cass really didn't want to go take a shower or relax, his mind was focused on Dean and the house. He was expecting at any moment to get a call from the hospital about his lovers condition or that he was causing trouble, just something along those lines and he was rather uneased. However, he did promise Dean and now Bobby that he would take a shower so he went down to do just that. 

He went upstairs to the master bathroom, took off his clothes, and went inside of the shower to freshen up. He didn't realize how much dirt and gunk he had on him, the water going down the drain almost looked brown as it rinsed off of him. Castiel felt ridiculous for having spent almost twenty four hours inside of a hospital and no one thought to tell him that he should take a shower or at least wash his hands once he came into the building. Maybe a nurse did at some point, but he couldn't remember. He combs his hands through his hair, getting out the dried blood that was caked to his skull, only to burst a scab which caused fresh blood to run down his face. Castiel closed his eyes to prevent the liquid from entering, and put his head under the showerhead to wash it clean. His luck these past few days sure hasn't been the best. Better than Dean's, but not by much. The doctors could be wrong, Dean could be walking in a few weeks. Maybe this change won't be permanent. 

Dean was always an overachiever if someone told him he couldn't do something. Dean once told Castiel the story of when he was in high school, the principal told Dean that he didn't have what it takes to graduate and get accepted into college. The background on the story, was that Dean never got much better than a C in any of his classes, and he would be goofing off in all of them with his buddies. He got caught one day doing a stupid prank and the principal torn him a new one, and ever since the principal at that school would go out of his way to talk down to Dean. However, the day that Dean was told he couldn't graduate? Oh man, that lit a fire under his ass and Dean was a bit smug when at graduation he shook that principals hand and may have said some petty one liner before leaving the stage. He even sent the acceptance letter that he got from the University to the principal to rub it in a little more.

Castiel smiles softly at memory of watching the video, Dean had Sam record him crossing the stage and the disgust and embarrassment that he saw flash across the principals face was pure beauty. While he was thinking about this, a different memory appeared. 

The loud screeching of tires, screams, and... those black eyes appear in his vision. Castiel gasped slightly and opened his eyes, his back being pressed against the wall as he looked around for a brief moment. Still in his bathroom, still in the shower. He was fine. He was okay. Dean was okay-ish from the circumstance, they weren't in danger or anything. Cass rubbed his eyes, trying to just breathe and calm down from the situation. He and Dean still haven't spoken about the accident itself. Yet, the thing that bugged him the most was how the man suddenly disappeared and reappeared at will, how Dean said that he was actually awake and fought with the man before Castiel woke up, the black eyes... and what the man said to him. _"We'll meet again, Winchester and Novak_." That feels like a threat, but they don't even know who this person is, let alone why they would be threatened by this random stranger.

Well, that was enough for a shower. Still shaken, Castiel turned off the water and get's out of the shower. Blinking a couple of times while drying off his hair and getting into some PJS. Well, they were Dean's PJS but they were still comfortable and it made him feel like he was still with the other. It was just an oversized black shirt and flannel bottoms. Nothing too special, but if Bobby and Dean wanted him to relax and take a break- he was going to do it in comfortable clothing. His hair was still pretty damp, but he was cool with it. He goes down the stairs and looked around, noticing that Bobby was still out- he thought that maybe he should go read a book or something. He would finish the Wendigo book, but it was in the car when it crashed so he couldn't. For now, Castiel went into the library and looked through whatever books they had. They had quite a few, he wish they had more. Dean would always buy Castiel new books though for his birthday and for the holidays so the collection was slowly growing. While he looked though, he paused as he found a box in the corner of the room. He walked over to it and noted the sharpie on the side of the box.

**SAMMY**

How long had this box been here? Castiel chewed on his bottom lip as he looked around, not sure what he was looking for, but his gut told him to. This box was in the attic only yesterday with all the other boxes that had Sam's personal items and affects in. He found that book on the Wendigo's in this exact box while it was up there... did Bobby bring the box down? That didn't make any sense. Why would he even be in the attic? The attic door is right next to the master bedroom upstairs so he could have if he wanted. He shook his head, maybe he just forgot that he brought it down the other day. He's forgotten about that stuff before. Cass took a deep breath and started going through the box, not for any real reason but he did. At the bottom there was a bunch of random books, some where textbooks, but some looked to have the same style as the Wendigo one, so he assumed they were probably written by the same author or the same stylization at the other author so it should be good. He went through them before finding one that peeked his interest. There was a black book, this time it was in leather binding and the words were a nice white color. Looked very classy, but the name was what drew Castiel in. The book was called, ' _Everything to know about Shapeshifters_.' No author's name given. He had heard of that term before, not sure were though, but it looked to be a good read. 

He hums softly as he set the book down on a fancy looking chair. It was his chair. When Castiel and Dean moved in and decided the room would be a library, Castiel wanted to get a fat comfy beanbag chair as well as a formal looking one for him to lay in so he could spend hours in their to just read and relax. Whenever he came into the library to read, he would go straight there. Castiel left a second and came back with a piece of paper and pencil, also some tea because he loved sipping tea while reading a good book. He got the paper and pencil because he liked to draw what he thought characters would look like in real life, so it was just a fun thing for him to do.

Castiel began to read and time passed, he didn't even notice when Bobby came back through the door. When Bobby walked in, he saw Castiel drawing on the sheet of paper that he had brought in as well as the book that was laying in his lap. He read the title and walked in. "Heya- whatcha doin' there, Castiel?" Bobby asked. 

Castiel looked up, then back down at his drawing and flipped it over before speaking. "Just reading, you where gone for awhile so I decided to relax like you asked."

"I told you to rest, not relax." Bobby corrected and walked over as Castiel closed the book with a marker and picked up the paper. "Where did you get that book?" He asked.

"Oh- I found it with Sam's stuff." Castiel explained quickly, he didn't know why he felt like he was caught doing something that he wasn't meant to. Yet, he was feeling like he was found with his hand in the cookie jar. "Dean said we should go through some of Sam's stuff and I wanted to give it a read." He explained. "I don't remember bring the box down here though, we'll need to put it back before Dean comes home."

Bobby nodded and looked down at the other's hand. "Did you find that paper in the box too?" He asked.

Cass chewed his bottom lip and pretended like he didn't hear the question and placed the book on a countertop that was in the library and put down the paper as well. "What did you get for us? I can pay buy later to pay you back."

The older man wasn't born yesterday, so he knew the other was avoiding the topic, but Bobby Singer was one to pry- he was going to get an answer. "Some grub at the diner, you two sure live a ways from town. You didn't answer my question."

"No, I didn't find it in the box. I like to draw while I read." Castiel explained, his chest began to fill with anxiety. He didn't do anything wrong, but the way Bobby was acting had such an authoritative presence that it made him want to hide everything. So, desperate to leave the situation, he pushed passed the other and left the library into the living room. Having spotted the bags that the food came in, he went over to grab the stuff. 

Bobby followed suite and watched the younger man grabbing the grub before speaking, "Why were you drawing someone without eyes?" He asked. Castiel took a deep breath as he grabbed what he assumed what was for him and sat down at the table, looking frustrated. Yet, not responding Bobby sighed, grabbed his food and came over, sat down and looked at Castiel with a quit-your-bullshit look. "Come on Idjit, tell me."

Castiel bites the bottom of his lip, looking away from the other. Dean may submit over a look, but Cass submits over tone. "It's not without eyes, the eyes where black." He mumbles while looking down at his meal. "Look I just... I'm going to sound crazy."

"There's nothing you can say that I haven't heard before."

"Yeah, sure."

"Castiel, try me."

He sighs softly and nodded, chewing his bottom lip again as he tried to think of how to explain this without seeming like he needed to go into a mental institution. "During the accident... I saw someone, but their eyes where like this." Castiel said pointing at the drawing. "They appeared in the backseat then disappeared. Then they where in the road, I think they caused the crash somehow... I saw them again after I woke up from the collision, they took Dean's necklace and said, ' _We'll meet again, Winchester and Novak_.' And I can't get the image and eyes out of my head no matter how hard I try..." He explained and kept looking away. He didn't want to be met with pity eyes or crazy eyes so he decided looking away was the best option. Castiel waited for a response, but the one he got was truly surprising.

"So you met a demon?" 

Castiel looked up, staring at Bobby with bright and confused blue eyes. "Excuse me?"

Bobby sat back in his chair, looking over the other's expression before he continued on. "You met a demon." 

"Bobby, there are no such things as demons. I didn't take you for the religious type."

"Oh I'm not religious, I don't believe in god or angels, nothing like that. But Demons are real."

Castiel was not happy about what the other was saying and stood up, not even able to form a response that he wanted, all that came out was, "What the fuck is wrong with you? I know what I am saying sounds ridiculous, but I don't need to be made fun of in my own home while Dean is in the hospital. You are seriously messed up."

Bobby didn't stand, just looked up at the other. "I'm not making fun of you. I'm simply stating a truth." Now he did start to stand up, "I'm sorry you had to find out like this, I honestly didn't think I would need to give you the whole 'monsters are real' talk, but here we are."

Castiel scoffs and walked away from him, now in the kitchen and pacing in front of the cupboards. He wanted to throw something at the other, but everything in front of him currently would break if he did so. "Bobby, Dean is in the hospital right now, and you want to stand there and tell me that monsters and demons are real, just to mess with me while I am trying to cope with trauma and the fear of losing Dean again!? Is this what they call fun in Kansas?"

"Boy, I live in South Dakota, so watch it. Secondly, I am not making fun of you. You said it yourself, you can't explain what happened and now I'm explaining it to you." Bobby said leaning up against the wall, trying to keep a distance in case Castiel decided to throw hands. "Demon's, vampires, werewolves, Wendigos, shapeshifters, all of them are real. You must have had a feeling considering you are reading some of Sam's journals."

"First off! I don't care where you are from, you're sick in the head. Secondly, what is your proof that they exist? Myths and lore don't count." He paused for a moment, his mouth held slightly agap. "What do you mean Sam's journals?"

Bobby made a move, taking a slight step forward which might not have been the best idea, but it worked out for him at least. "That book you where reading, it was Sam's right? Those books, he wrote himself. He's done the research, talked to people like me, and wanted to have all the information in case he needed it."

"People like you? What does that mean?" He asks.

"I'm a hunter, and so is Sam. Not your typical hunter that goes after deer and bears, but we go after monsters, ghosts, spirits, those sorts of things. Especially Demons, but those are not your low hanging fruit."

Castiel was quiet for a moment, trying to process what the other was saying. He was hesitant to believe anything that Bobby was saying, but the books did look like Sam's hand writing a little bit. Also Sam has said he's gone hunting with the other... "Wait- does Dean-"

"No, Dean doesn't know about this sort of stuff." Bobby interrupts. "I've tried to tell him before, take him hunting. Usually I take people hunting when I explain to them about this stuff, but Dean never went on a hunt. Sam did, so Sam knew. He didn't enjoy it, but he did come when I asked. Sam never told Dean, because he didn't want Dean in the life style that we are in." He said with a small shrug. "But now that you two have met a demon and have been threatened, it's about time you know."

"Get out." Castiel suddenly spoke.

Bobby looked at the other, confused and perplexed. "Castiel, I'm not messing with you-"

"I SAID GET OUT!" Castiel repeats, now loud. He grabbed a frying pan and held it in his grip, holding it out to where Bobby was. His eyes narrow and his face tight. Maybe the words coming out of Bobby's mouth sounded fine, maybe even possible, but he wouldn't accept any of it. 

The older man nodded, hands in the air as he was escorted out of the house, thankfully he had his keys in his pocket. Bobby left the house and Castiel closed the door behind him. Watching from the window and glass pane in the door as he left in that old looking automobile. Shaking his head slightly in disbelief. This man, who he invited into his home, called to tell about Dean being in the hospital, came in with the nerve to try and force this narrative that all of these- what- supernatural characters are real. Who would believe that? Maybe it was meant to be a fun joke and not something to be taken seriously, but right now Castiel was in a bad place and didn't feel like dealing with that. Dean is in the hospital, he's at home trying to prepare for him to come back, and this old man comes in and tries to mess with him? Come on. Look- even if all of what he said was real, even though it isn't- why would he take a young teenager out to hunt? Aren't ghosts, demons, and vampires or whatever all super dangerous? Why would someone put others into that situation? It's unheard of. Stupid. He didn't know what to think. Even if they are real, which they aren't, why would a demon- that neither of them even heard of- purposely crash the car and threaten them with a future visit? Yet again... those words and hand writing did look a lot like Sam's, maybe he was telling the truth. Well, at least his truth. He may think they're actually hunting and convinced Sam's young head that they where real. What if Sam was 'hunting' and the bear that killed him... he thought he was hunting that was in a more supernatural neighbor. No that is insane. If that was the case, then Castiel and Dean would blame Bobby for Sam's death.

Castiel sat back down on his chair and took a couple deep breaths, he shouldn't have kicked Bobby out- but that's all he could think of to do or say in that moment. He should apologize, he felt bad for yelling, but still furious that the other would play a prank like that. Hopefully he will come back later and they can finish moving things around and the other would apologize for that stupid prank. All he could do it hope and wait.


	6. The Façade of Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! Getting some family angst up in here baby! I'm not the best at writing emotions without sounding like a manuscript for a screenplay, so please forgive! I'm going to get more into the actual hunting stuff in a little bit, probably chapter 8 is when Castiel will start actively investigating.

The word 'family' has many interpretations based on whom one may ask. If one was to ask a blood relative what the term 'family' means, they would get an answer that it is someone who is biologically linked to a specific individual. However, if one was to ask what is family to someone they have been associating with since they where young children, they would say it was someone who cares about someone more than anything else in the world. They love and care for you, through the good, bad, and the ugly. There are also many different terms on a way someone can be family based on simple titles. Mother, father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, cousin, and then simple extensions by adding the words 'step' or 'removed'. So many words to be used as a claim to be a family. Yet, who truly knows their family this deeply? Do these titles give anyone a warm feeling? A place of safety and warmth? If someone has this term, are they entitled so oneself? 

Family is meant as a meaningful term of phase, someone who has never met an extended family member- does not have a relationship with this individual as they may with their own mother. Yet, once they want something, they claim the phrase 'family' as if it explains whatever one might have been asking. 

Is that truly family?

Yes, family is a phrase that one may long to hear or feel no matter where they may go. Yet, family does not start or end with blood a wise man once said. The term is meant as a way to feel close to someone, knowing that in the end- family is all you got. The love that someone shows through their actions and words is what makes a family. When someone falls deeply in love with another individual, and would do anything for them, anything at all, and would even go to a point to claim them as their own in a legal court- or in the eyes of god- that person is family. They aren't blood. They are someone who cares more about someone else than their own self. 

The hardest part in life, is deciding who truly fits the phrase of 'family'. This task is grueling. Questions that one might never had asked in the first place become the most common thought in the front of the mind. The idea of choosing if someone is worth being kept in one's life is a strenuous one. The questions that need to be answered, can only be answered by the one's who are asking the question in the first place. The art of picking who can fit under this umbrella term starts to turn into a sort of math equation. Does this individual love and care enough about one's well being- to stay around and go through the pain that they may cause? Does this person even feel like someone that one may turn to for help or when in need? Do they deserve the title? One may decide that the person in question is not family, then once that conclusion is made, do they decide that they will never speak with them again? To cut them off, or to disown?

Castiel and Dean both made these choices before in the past. Neither had an easy time to decide who was and who was not their family, yet they made their decisions without help and have stuck by them strongly. The first to ask this question was Castiel after he discovered or finally allowed himself to feel the emotions that he had. Coming out as gay was the first choice he needed to make. His father who was a priest certainly would not like to know about his son's 'sin', however, Castiel made the choice to tell. The father put him into multiple conversion camps as well as daily study of the bible. Even pray for 'the gay to go away'. Castiel tolerated this, even though he was never a true believer in what his father preached. His mother was okay with him, a little disappointed that she may not have biological grandchildren by him, but that was fine. His sister Anna was a true sport, though. Encouraged it behind their father's back, even getting his advice on boys for herself every now and then. He was conditioned to a point that he truly thought he would end up marrying a woman at college, but then he met Dean and it was if all the conditioning disappeared. Of course, he struggled a bit but he's been okay with his sexuality for a long time. When he introduced Dean to his mother, he purposely did it to hide it from his father, but nothing stays secret for long between a husband and wife. Castiel's father called in a rage, demanding for them to speak to each other, and other things along that nature. Eventually as years did pass by, Castiel decided he didn't want to take in anymore of that abuse. He cut him off the best he could. He still stayed in contact with his sister and mother, so of course the father knew whenever he was visiting or things along that nature. 

That's the thing about family, is it worth the bullshit?

Dean did the same with his own father not long after, the whole coming out thing to John Winchester was a little more physical than what Castiel had experienced. Thankfully, Dean was an adult at this time so he could easily get away and have his own place unlike Cass. However, it really was not him who made the call, John simply set rules and never contacted Dean again, so it was more like Dean was disowned and had to make the choice if Sam was family enough to see and be in contact with him. Now that question was an easy yes, Dean would do anything for Sam. If Sam was still alive, Dean would do anything under the sun to make sure he had a good life and was okay. He also made the choice to include Bobby as his family, someone that is not blood related to be seen as family and would do anything for them, and he for him. Dean truly saw Bobby as a father figure, even though he felt as if Sam was the favorite amongst the two of them. Despite that- he felt loved with Bobby and nothing was going to change that.

Castiel knew that too, he knew how important Bobby was to Dean and having just shooed him off with a frying pan when he was simply trying to help- not the best move. That was yesterday, so hopefully the next time he sees Bobby they can forgive and forget and most importantly... not tell Dean about what happened. Little did Castiel know, he had to deal with 'family' before.

Thankfully, he and Dean had different cars so Castiel was still able to drive to the hospital that morning once visiting hours were available. The night before, Castiel knew he had to make some more progress on the house even if it was just him working. His arms were practically dead that morning from how many boxes of books he moved upstairs into the old master bedroom and now library. He also managed to move some more furniture- having called a neighbor whom they were friendly with and knew about what happened. There was still more to be done today after he checks up and has breakfast and lunch with Dean. He felt really guilty having Dean spend the night alone in the hospital, but there wasn't anyway he was going to be back before visiting hours where up. At that point they could use the excuse that they did the previous night of not having a car and that Dean would freak out if he wasn't there in the morning. Trauma was the excuse for that one. But, he knew that wasn't going to work so why bother. 

He makes his way through the hospital, it was a surprisingly large one for the area that they lived in. Also now that Dean wasn't in the ER but in a different ward, a recovering one that Castiel could not think the name of- it took a little longer to navigate were he was going. He found the ward eventually and went up to the front desk woman to be allowed access into the hallway past the magnetic doors so he could go into Dean's room, but she stops him.

"Before you go in, there is someone who is also here to visit. But- he said he wanted to check on you first!" Says the peppy employee. Must be a new higher- Castiel thought to himself.

He gave a nod, "Alright, who is it? Did they give a name?"

"Oh he's waking over. Hello Father Novak." She says looking over Cas' shoulder with a slight wave.

Castiel fucking froze. His expression goes from worried, to angry, to blank. 

The need to turn around was futile, so he didn't. He knew exactly who or what would be standing behind him the moment that he did. A man with brown turning grey hair with brown eyes would be staring at him. A white collar wrapped around the neck of his suit with a golden cross laying in the middle of the others chest. Probably more wrinkles since the last time they had spoken to each other. For good measure, the man would probably be carrying a bible or some sort of religious stuff. "Hello, son." Came a gruff voice.

"You lost the privilege to call me that years ago." Castiel says with his voice turning cold, his hands placed on the counter in front of him slowly curled into small fists. 

There was a sigh from behind him, but the voice was still prevalent. "Can we get a private room to talk, miss?" 

Castiel looked up to the woman he had been speaking too moments earlier and the look on her face indicated that she knew that she probably made a mistake to agreeing to this. A shape of 'o' on her lips was present as she nodded, grabbing a set of keys from the countertop where she sat and got up. If it was anyone else, he knew this woman wouldn't have gotten up. Anyone would know that this would be against policy to any hospital ward. However, when a priest is asking something of someone- all rules seem to melt away as if they did not exist in the first place. Cas knew that the moment he was alone in a room with his father, there would not be a single place in the whole hospital that wouldn't hear their conversation. Castiel is loud when he expresses his emotions enough... a reason why he a Dean needed to sound proof the bedroom. That's probably another thing they will need to do to the house- come to think of it. Against better judgement, Castiel did follow the young woman and his father, his eyes fixated on the shoes in front of him. White sneakers. He could feel his fathers eyes burning into his face, but Castiel refused to look. 

They were led into a small room that had a couple chairs inside, no windows, just chairs a few bleak motivational posters hung on the wall. It wasn't difficult to understand this was the room where people would be told a loved one didn't make it. Castiel had never been in a room like this before, but he knows enough television to put those pieces together. His father entered first, but Castiel turned to the woman who led them there and said- "You may want security on stand-by ma'am." He said before entering the room and closing the door behind himself. Of course he knew he wasn't going to do anything to get himself kicked out, he needed to be here for Dean- so he can control his emotions for that purpose alone. However, he knew the yelling will disturb the patients and workers in the hospital. 

He leant against the door, finally looking up but over at the wall. Not in the direction of his father, because he knew the moment he saw him... "Why are you here?" Castiel starts, not wanting to be in this room any longer than needed. 

"I heard about Dean." The preacher stated, the sound of footsteps followed the sentence as the man sat down on the chairs that were present. Probably expecting Castiel to do the same, but Cas just stood.

"Who told you?" An accusatory tone present.

There was a sigh, "I overheard your sister Anna talking to your mom about what happened, I thought maybe I could help your boyfriend."

"Fiancé." Castiel corrected, looking over now. His eyes fixated on the chair next to where his father was sitting, he couldn't look at him. The idea that he is actually talking to his man brought bile to his throat.

The father scoffs, but tried to hide it as a cough. The chair made a squeak as he sat back, probably because people don't typically _relax_ in a room like this. "It's come to that point? Seriously..."

"Yes, it's been almost 15 years since we got together so I'm glad it's coming to this point." 

"Will you just look at me? You haven't even done that since I've arrived. I'm not only you're father, but I am a man of god and you should respect me."

The silence filled the room, and the air felt thick with the amount of tension that was building. He decided to look, only because he knew the other wouldn't leave him alone until he did so. Cas managed to pull his gaze over to the man who sat in those god awful wooden chairs with thin purple and green padding, such as one might find in a nursing home. There his father was, exactly as he thought he'd see him. The only difference was that is father seemed to have decided that shaving was no longer required for being a priest and his chin was covered in brown and grey hairs, looking too clean for someone who is prone to verbal violence. "Happy _**Father**_?" Castiel taunts. He then paused for a moment to think over their conversation so far and his frown extends. "What did you mean by 'help him'?" He asks.

"I, being a devout man thought I could give him a blessing." He explains.

"No. Dean doesn't believe in that crap." 

"You once told me- well... your mother- told me that he believed in angels, correct? Surely if he believes in one he'd believe in the other. They co-assign to one another."

Castiel let out a dry chuckle, his luck this week keeps improving it seems. It was taking everything in him to not yell at his father, or more or less call security and get him kicked out for something. "Well, that doesn't mean Dean believes it. He thinks when you die you become angels, doesn't believe in god. The prayer wouldn't work without faith anyway."

"Well you'll be there, so there's half of the faith needed."

"I don't believe in god, or angels, or any of that." Castiel glares.

That was enough for the father who stood up, his hands clenched tightly into fists. The preacher's eyes looking almost bloodshot while a vein threatened to burst inside of his head. "What did I do wrong to make you not believe in god anymore? I raised you in the church, taught you the bible yet you refuse to believe. Now, you are going about to marry the sin that tempted you away- and now you don't believe over one man!?"

Also once the other's voice was raised, it was fair game for Castiel to also raise his voice. "Let's get one thing correct here! _I_ pursued Dean, he didn't go after me. Next, I never believed in god ever since I was a little kid, and you trying to shove him out down my throat ever since I could talk only made me resent the fact even more!" He huffs. "You forced me to go to church, made me go through conversion therapy for fuck's sake- and then you think that just because I met a man- that would be the reason I would leave?" Castiel pushed himself off of the door and walked further into the room, stalking towards his father. "And I am not marrying a sin, _**Father**_. How can loving someone more than oneself be a sin? If god told me that I could not love someone, because of what's in their pants? Then that's no god I want over me."

"God has told us exactly what is right and wrong, what you are doing is wrong and you know it!" The father accused, standing in front of his son now with there only being a foot between them. The space so small Castiel could feel spit hitting him in the face from his father's yelling. "What the fuck happened to you, to throw away all of your blessings!? You where born into a devout family, with divined parents, you are named after an angel who represents the everything god stands for!"

"Castiel, the angel of thursday... Castiel, my cover is god. Castiel, the angel meant to pull the wrongfully damned souls out of perdition. Castiel, the angel who saves mankind! Castiel- the angel who adored earth just as much as the father and the son and the holy ghost! Castiel, the embodiment of free will! CASTIEL! THE ANGEL OF FREE WILL!" Castiel roared, his hands grabbed his father's suit jacket, his anger pouring out of him, his eyes could burn holes into his father's based on the wrath he felt filling up inside of him. "If you want me to accept some sort of power based on the title that you gave me, of an angel? Then I will choose to follow it. Castiel may be an angel of the lord, but he is the angel meant to serve mankind and to save every soul along side his brothers and sisters. I choose to be this angel if I must accept a role, he chooses free will! Then I will choose my free will! And that- is love whoever the damn fucking please, without feelin ashamed." He lets go of the preacher and shoved him away, back to where the other was originally sitting. Castiel's face was burned from the heated blood that rose to his cheeks, a migraine was slowly forming from how load he was being. 

He looked down at his father, who looked perplexed and angered by his son's response. Using his own religious mumble jumbo against him felt oddly toxic. "If you continue down this road... you will be banished and tormented in hell for eternity and may feel no relief."

"Then I better hope that Castiel come's down to save his human counterpart." He challenged. Father Novak glared and folded his arms across his chest, not sure on what else to say. Yet, Castiel did. "If you ever try to come near me or Dean again, for any reason at all without us knowing? I will get a restraining order against you, and you won't even be able to live in the same state as us." His eyes became dark. This looked was reserved, not many have seen it. Those who do- know not to say anything else or even attempt a movement. Castiel gave one last glare to his father before turning on his heals and leaving the private room, closing the door behind him. He started to make his way back to hallway where he knew Dean was, as he did- he noticed the looks and stares that people were giving him. The dark expression was still embedded onto his face, his trench coat gave off a more sinister vibe than expected. He didn't mind, he was only there for Dean. 

He got back to the room and saw Dean sitting in a wheel chair and looking out of the window. Thinking. At least he was dressed, he wasn't allowed to leave for a few days, but they did allow the other to be in his own clothes. He probably had help getting dressed though- probably bruising Dean's ego while they were at it. Castiel stayed in the frame of the door, trying to determine the expression that was on Dean's face. The face being given seemed to be one of guilt, anger, worry, and everything in between. Different scenarios playing in the other's find. Castiel took a breath and knocked on the door to alert the other to his presence. "Hello, Dean." He said with a small smile.

Dean looked over and rose a brow, "Everything alright?" He asked.

Castiel tilted his head as he walked in, curving around the bed to sit in a chair that was beside the other's window and wheelchair. "Why do you ask?"

"Your shoulders are tense, and you have that funky look in your eye whenever you get pissed off." Dean stated, his body moved backwards to rest against the back of the seat. He looked rather uncomfortable, yet- Castiel knew better to ask if he wanted to get back into the bed.

Although, he had to sigh as he remembered the events that barely transpired. "My father is in the waiting room. He talked."

Dean didn't need to ask for more, just the term 'father' was enough to know that the other either wanted to never bring it up again, or Castiel would share details later. "Woah... how did the fucker even find out we where here in the first place?"

"He overheard Anna telling Mom, neither told him thankfully. But- I don't know if he'll leave or do something stupid. I don't know what that stupid could be, but I know he sure is capable." He Castiel huffed.

"Hey, stop biting your lip, you're gonna make it bleed." Dean warns. 

Castiel paused and felt his lip, tasting a small bit of iron on his tongue. It must've barely started bleeding, because he would've noticed sooner. He didn't even realize he was doing it. He mumbled a small thanks as he wiped his lips with the back of his hand, making a mental note about it. 

Dean looked back out the window, rubbing the top of his chest slightly. "I feel really naked without that necklace, hopefully it's in the wreckage or still somewhere in the car." There was a small bit of silence. The air suddenly felt thin, because this felt like the perfect gateway to actually talk about the accident. The topic had been avoided for what- almost three days now? They where both there, so they really didn't need to talk about it. Yet, at the same time... they did. Castiel took a deep breath and was going to ask the obvious question, but Dean cut him off the moment he let out some air. "What do you remember, Cas?" he asked.

Tell the truth. That's all he needed to do. Tell the truth. Yet, a part of him knew that he shouldn't. "Not much... I passed out. I just remember you trying to pull over the car, something was in the road, then it crashed." Castiel shrugged, omitting some real important details. "I woke up, managed to get out of the car and saw you against a tree." He waited a moment and spoke softly, "What do you remember?"

The wheel bound man's expression changed slightly, a hand going to his chin to rub his jaw. Castiel might have been good reading the other, but right now the other seemed like a stone wall. "More than that." He mumbled. He didn't speak further, even though Castiel was pleading for the other to continue. In his head at least. He needed to know that he- himself- wasn't crazy.

"Care to elaborate?"

Dean let out a sigh, looking back over at Castiel. Another moment of silence fell upon them. Why did they have these stare downs so often? Castiel knows though, he knows it's the only way to get Dean to truly open up- or at least do as he's told to a certain degree. Usually the other is bratty when being told what to do, but the look and a bit of manhandling gets the job done. It felt like eternity of muteness until Dean licked his lips and looked away, back out the window. "At least you saw something." Dean whispered to himself before continuing at a normal volume. "Tried to slow down, but the car kept speeding up. Then... I saw someone in the road. I tried to avoid him by driving into the left lane of traffic, but for some reason the car went right." He takes in a deep breath, as if he was hesitant to say the next part of his memory. However, Castiel knew the other could feel his eyes on him- so Dean pushed forward. "I woke up out of the car, like- I dunno in the grass next to the street. I think I flew out of the windshield or some shit like that. Really Matrix like. Or the karate kid, pick a reference... Anyways..." He paused yet again, his gaze not changing from the window. Dean's hand went to the back of his neck as he rubbed the base of his hair line- as if to try and coax himself to continue. "I got up and saw you were still in the car, but I saw your head bleeding so I panicked and ran over. Look I-" He puts a hand out as he spoke, his hands being rather flippant as he spoke. "I know this sounds crazy- the docs saying the car made me like this- but I know what I _saw_ was real." He paused again. "I was going to open the door, but someone spun me around and punched me. It was the same guy from the street and I don't know why- he kept punching and hitting me, I fought back obviously! Then he kept mumbling shit that I didn't understand... next thing I know I'm getting falcon punched into a damn tree and I passed out. I woke up when I felt my shoulder burning, but all I saw was you. It was all blurry and hazy after that." He looked over to Castiel finally, who's mouth was agap as he listened to what the other had said. Okay, maybe Castiel wasn't crazy. Thank heavens. However Dean didn't seemed pleased with the others expression. "Yeah yeah, I know I'm a fuck up. There is no way it happened, you heard the doc. But I can't just... not agree with what I saw."

Castiel slowly nods and took the other's hand into his own, using both hands to hold the other's palm. "You're not crazy, you're very much a faith by seeing kinda guy. I didn't see the fight happen... but if you say it did, then I'll believe it." He gave a small smile and leaned in close, brushing his lips against the other's and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. Dean returned the motion in a moment, but Castiel smirked before pulling away. It was a lot shorter than Dean would've liked, but it was enough to have the tips of Dean's ears turn a nice red color from being a little embarrassed. Although he did seem a little more relaxed now as he gave a dorky grin but coughed to hide it. "Wait, burning? There wasn't any fire at the crash Dean." Castiel commented.

Dean sat up now, arms in his lap. "I know, I don't remember seeing flames, but there was something that burned me- see?" He says moving the sleeve of his shirt to show up a large ace bandage wrapped around his shoulder. Castiel tilted his head slightly, he didn't see the other get hurt their either. There wasn't any blood that he could recall. "It was probably like bark burn or something. Like carpet burn- that can happen with tree's right?" Dean asked. The younger fiancé shrugged, not knowing an answer to that question. "Anyways, let's hope it the necklace is there." 

Eventually they go about talking about other things, such as how moving around the house was, how was spending the night in the hospital by themselves, things of that nature. Of course though, Dean had to tease about how all the nurses were pretty hot and gave him a lot of attention while they helped him get dressed that day. Castiel would huff and grumble a bit- which only made Dean laugh. Castiel had always been protective over Dean- and could be quite possessive or jealous. It was always cute to see how he would get over comments like that. It didn't help that Dean was Bi so it's not like he could request nurses of only one gender to help out. The first time Castiel showed that side of him, Dean was getting hit on by some freshmen ladies at a party, and Castiel came up and just- shoved his body against Dean's and made out with him until the chicks left. When Dean asked about it, Castiel just said that the other was his and other's can't flirt with him. Real fucking hot. Ever since then, Dean loved seeing Castiel get all protective like that. Before Dean started teasing Castiel about it though- he asked if it was an okay thing to joke about, and he got the all clear so he goes about it all the time. 

Hopefully the rest of the day would go on without a hitch. The two of them can just sit here and smile and laugh about whatever came to mind. Making sure to keep Dean's mind off of his lack of motility for awhile. Yet, are they ever that lucky? Especially with the week they've been having? As they kept talking, there was a knock on the door followed by a gruff cough.

Dean and Castiel look over, and their eyes turn wide. There stood a man in his late fifties, grey and black hair- although mostly bald, his eyes a dark brown he wore an odd attire for a man his age. Leather jacket and a simple shirt, beer gut yet somehow still looking muscular underneath. Dean let out a shaky breath and spoke first.

"Dad?"


End file.
